Kama una stress pitia hapa, usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako

[Mr Miller]

CAN'T STOP LAUGHING
A woman was having sex in an
apartment 20 floors high with
another
man.She then heard her husband
coming… she told her lover to stay
like
a robot and not to move.
Husband: What is this?
Wife: This is a robot, I bought to have
sex with when you are travelling…
Husband: Okay…Lets have sex now…
Wife: No sweetheart… yesterday I
got
my period, so I will go and make a
cup
of coffee for you…
After she left the husband said:
Damn I
am so horny, I will f*ck this robot…he
tried f*cking. The man started
talking in
a metallic robotic way…
“SYSTEM ERROR…WRONG HOLE…
SYSTEM ERROR… WRONG HOLE…”
Husband: Damn robot is not working
properly…I am throwing it out of the
window…The man realized that he
was
on the 20th floor and said…
“SOFTWARE UPDATED…PLEASE TRY
FUCKING
AGAIN.....

hahaha [emoji28][emoji28]

 

[Numbisa]

Hakuna mtu mwenye tabu huku ulimwenguni kama mwafrika, lakini pamoja na tabu zote anazopitia maishani akifa hapumziki, anatakiwa tena awe mzimu wa kutatua matatizo ya ukoo wake.

Afrika tabu sana[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

 

[Sir Khan]

Wanaume nani aliyewaroga? yaani gari ya milioni kumi unailaza nje halafu mwanamke uliyemtolea mahari ya laki sita unalala naye ndani?
Ndio maana mlifeli mathematics.

 

[Sir Khan]

Mkimuona yule mwalimu aliyenifundisha eti binadamu ametokana na sokwe mwambieni namtafuta, huwezi kunichezea akili nikakuacha salama.

 

[Sir Khan]

Umetoka kazini umeingia geto umechoka unafunga kitasa ufunguo unatupa kitandani, ghafla unaona nyoka kitandani unajifanya nunda unachukua fimbo nyuma ya mlango ili umtembezee kichapo,unapiga fimbo ya kwanza anakwepa unataka kumpiga fimbo ya pili umeme unakatika.
Hapo ndo utajua maana halisi ya RUDI NYUMBANI KUMENOGA.

 

[Sir Khan]

Wanaume wa Dar sitapokea simu zenu mpaka pale mtakapo mtia mimba Wema Sepetu.
Mmekaa naye miaka yote hiyo mnamchekea tu.

 

[MUUZA NGADA]

CAN'T STOP LAUGHING
A woman was having sex in an
apartment 20 floors high with
another
man.She then heard her husband
coming… she told her lover to stay
like
a robot and not to move.
Husband: What is this?
Wife: This is a robot, I bought to have
sex with when you are travelling…
Husband: Okay…Lets have sex now…
Wife: No sweetheart… yesterday I
got
my period, so I will go and make a
cup
of coffee for you…
After she left the husband said:
Damn I
am so horny, I will f*ck this robot…he
tried f*cking. The man started
talking in
a metallic robotic way…
“SYSTEM ERROR…WRONG HOLE…
SYSTEM ERROR… WRONG HOLE…”
Husband: Damn robot is not working
properly…I am throwing it out of the
window…The man realized that he
was
on the 20th floor and said…
“SOFTWARE UPDATED…PLEASE TRY
FUCKING
AGAIN.....

[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

 

[MUUZA NGADA]

A little boy was in a TAXI eating chocolate. He
took another one then another, up to 8
chocolates. Then a MAN next to him said:
Don't U know that too much of chocolate can
damage your teeth? The boy replied: My
Grandfather lived for good 150yrs b4 he died..
Then the man asked: was it because of eating
chocolate he lived so long? D boy replied: NO
sir: it's because he was always
minding his own business..

Mind your business [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

 

[Khantwe]

Umetoka kazini umeingia geto umechoka unafunga kitasa ufunguo unatupa kitandani, ghafla unaona nyoka kitandani unajifanya nunda unachukua fimbo nyuma ya mlango ili umtembezee kichapo,unapiga fimbo ya kwanza anakwepa unataka kumpiga fimbo ya pili umeme unakatika.
Hapo ndo utajua maana halisi ya RUDI NYUMBANI KUMENOGA.

Maweeee

 

[Joe ndaro]

[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

 

[Numbisa]

Huku mtaani maisha magumu mpaka jamaa ananiuliza: “Hivi luku haina kifurushi cha chuo?[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

 

[moto wa maji]

Huku mtaani maisha magumu mpaka jamaa ananiuliza: “Hivi luku haina kifurushi cha chuo?[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

Haahahhaahaha

 

[mandela1]

Huku mtaani maisha magumu mpaka jamaa ananiuliza: “Hivi luku haina kifurushi cha chuo?[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787]

 

[Smokey D]

*Bangi nimeacha tangu siku nimevuta nikakutana na wajeda, nikawaita wanamgambo, ile nashituka niko hospital, mama anamwambi dada, mpozee uji kaamka, nikamuuliza, nimejifungua mtoto gani, bi mkubwa akazimia. Nkaapa sitavuta bangi tena*[emoji848][emoji848][emoji848][emoji848][emoji848][emoji1787][emoji1787]

 

[Nguvu moja]

Umetoka kazini umeingia geto umechoka unafunga kitasa ufunguo unatupa kitandani, ghafla unaona nyoka kitandani unajifanya nunda unachukua fimbo nyuma ya mlango ili umtembezee kichapo,unapiga fimbo ya kwanza anakwepa unataka kumpiga fimbo ya pili umeme unakatika.
Hapo ndo utajua maana halisi ya RUDI NYUMBANI KUMENOGA.

😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀

 

[Numbisa]

Hiki kipind sio cha kutongoza mademu mnajua Kutongoza demu kipindi hiki ni sawa na kuhamia Nyumba yenye Deni la luku

 

[Numbisa]

mchawi ni nani🤷‍ mchawi ni rafiki wa mpenzi wako ambae anajua mpenzi wako ana mpenzi mwingine na anampenda sana kuliko wewe lakini bado anakazania kukuita wewe shemelaa

 

[Scars]

I'm tired of breaking girls heart now I want to focus on their spinal cord

 

[Kirokonya]

Leo mchana kwa stage(stendi) ya magari, demu flani akaja na kuingia kwenye daladala na konda alikua ndani pekee yake......

Konda: hai Bebi, ,,,,,,
Dem: poa sana niambie,,,,,
Konda: hai bebi, ,,,,
Dem : hey! Shit! !!!! Unanisalamia mara ngapi wewe......
Konda: mafeelings pelekea Sponsor. .... nimekuambia hii gari
"haibebi"

 

[war02]

*Bangi nimeacha tangu siku nimevuta nikakutana na wajeda, nikawaita wanamgambo, ile nashituka niko hospital, mama anamwambi dada, mpozee uji kaamka, nikamuuliza, nimejifungua mtoto gani, bi mkubwa akazimia. Nkaapa sitavuta bangi tena*[emoji848][emoji848][emoji848][emoji848][emoji848][emoji1787][emoji1787]

ha ha haaaaaaaa
daaaaah hatariiiiiiiiiiiii