Mkuu mimi sikatai kuzaa ila nakataa ndoa hivyo basi nitazaa na nitachukua watoto wangu nawalea mimi mwenyewe na hiyo ndiyo familia yangu. Mama zao wapambane na hali zao huko sifugi mwanamke ndani kwanguKwa hiyo, hii Familia unaifikia na kuijenga vipi bila ndoa i.e KUOANA?
Sijui unaposema dini una maanisha dini, ila Ndoa—kwa maana ya dhana ya Mwanaume na Mwanamke kutambulika kijamii kuwa katika makubaliano ya kuishi pamoja— zimekuwepo kabla ya dini. So, Suala la Ndoa ni la Asili ya mwanadamu na lina mizizi kwenye evolution ya mwanadamu, dini zimekuja kuchagiza tu.muktadha wa dini huo, sio kila mtu anafuata
familia bila ndoa inawezekana sana tu
ningependa uthibitishe hiloSo, Suala la Ndoa ni la Asili ya mwanadamu na lina mizizi kwenye evolution ya mwanadamu
Unadhani ni mfumo sahihi kulea watoto kwa kuzaa hovyo na kuwakusanya, bila Malezi na miongozo ya Pamoja ya Wazazi? Umechukua into account masuala mengine niliyoyainisha hapo juu kuhusu Umuhimu wa familia?Mkuu mimi sikatai kuzaa ila nakataa ndoa hivyo basi nitazaa na nitachukua watoto wangu nawalea mimi mwenyewe na hiyo ndiyo familia yangu. Mama zao wapambane na hali zao huko sifugi mwanamke ndani kwangu
Jamii gani? Iliweka utaratibu upi? Ulikubalika na kina nan?Uhuni ni kufanya mambo pasipo na utaratibu wa kistaarabu uliowekwa na kukubalika katika jamii.
Mkuu, nilishapitia Changamoto za masuala haya, lakini haiondoi umuhimu wa Ndoa kwenye jamii. Hakuna mfumo usio na Changamoto, kinachopimwa ni Faida dhidi ya Changamoto.Ivi mnapata wapi muda wa kumjibu huyu, nyie muacheni yakimkuta ataludi tu hata na ID fake atoe ushuhuda.
Ndoa sio lazima katika maishaInatambulika dunia kote, toka dunia hii imeanza—haijalishi kwa dhana ya Uumbaji wa Mungu au Evolution ya kisayansi— Baba, Mama na Watoto (Familia), ndio imekua jumuiko la kwanza, kuu na la msingi la wanadamu.
Siku hizi kumeshamiri wimbi [si geni kihistoria] la kupinga Uwepo wa Familia ya Baba, Mama na Watoto—KATAA NDOA.
Wafuasi wa dhana hii, naombeni mnipe mtazamo wenu juu ya masuala haya;
1. Juu ya Malezi na miongozo ya pamoja. Ni kwenye familia ndipo mtoto anafunzwa stadi za Maisha—kupika, kufua, kuosha watoto, kubeba mtoto, miongozo ya elimu ya awali, nidhamu, utiifu mfano namna ya kusalimu watu, kuheshimu watu wote, utunzaji wa mali zake na za familia, upendo, huruma—yote haya yanachangiwa na baba na mama. Nje ya familia haya mtoto atayapata vipi kwa ufanisi?
2. Juu ya Upatikanaji wa uhakika wa mahitaji ya kimwili.. Ngono ndio hisia na msukumo mkubwa wa Mwanadamu yeyote. Mtu Mzima anahitaji walau kufanya ngono mara tatu kwa wiki, Mke na Mume ndiyo wanatimiziana hayo na kupeana utulivu na hivyo kuweza kutimiza majukumu yao mengine. Bila kuoa, maana yake utakuwa na wanawake tofauti tofauti na kujiweka kwenye risk ya Maradhi, Ushirikina na kuzaa hovyo, mtapanyo holela wa kipato. Kataa ndoa, mna njia ipi mbadala yenye usalama nje ya ndoa?
3. Juu ya mahusiano ya kijamii. Familia ndio networking platform ya kwanza ya mwanadamu. Ndugu wa mke na Mume kwa ujumla wao ndio huwa chimbuko la kupeana fursa mfano Ajira au tender za kibiashara, kusaidiana katika matatizo mf Afrika hatutumii mifumo rasmi ya Bima mf Mazishi au Maradhi, sababu tunamifumo ya kusaidiana wenyewe toka ngazi ya familia. Pia kupitia familia ndipo mwanao anaweza kwenda kufanya kazi sehemu na kufikia kwa ndugu wa Mkeo au mumeo n.k n.k. Hili nyie mnalitazama vipi?
4. Juu ya kuwapa misingi ya Uwajibikaji watoto. Familia inapolea watoto kuwa watiifu na kufuata miiko mbalimbali inawafanya watoto wawe na sense ya uwajibikaji zaidi na hivyo kuwa na jamii bora zaidi, mfano unapolea mtoto usiku ni muda wa kuwa nyumbani, au anayekatazwa udokozi, anayetimiziwa mahitaji yake nafasi ya kuwa na jamii tulivu ni kubwa. Bila familia, nyie mnaona jamii itakuwa na sura gani?
5. Juu ya kujijenga kiuchumi. Mke na Mume hupeana mipango ya maendeleo. Mke humtia moyo mmewe kupambana, mke hupambana kutafutia familia kipato pia, hivyo husaidizana inapotokea kukwama, pia mahitaji ya watoto huwasukuma wazazi kutafuta zaidi. Kubwa zaidi, ukiwa na familia, huwezi zaa hovyo, hivyo hukupa utulivu wa kiuchumi. Je, Nyie hili mnalitazama vipi?
6. Juu ya mafunzo ya kimaadili— Kidini/Kimungu/Kiutu. Mwanadamu yeyote anahitaji dira ya kumuongoza kimaadili—mema na mabaya— maishani (moral compass) ambapo sehemu ya kwanza ni unaipata kwenye familia. Familia ya kiislam, itamlea mtoto kwenye maadili ya kislam na kumpa miongozo ya mema na mabaya, hali kadhalika kwa familia ya kikiristo, au hata ya kipagan ni lazima inayo moral compass yao. Nyie kataa ndoa, mnadhani watoto wanaipata vipi miongozo hiyo ya kimaadili?
Karibuni.
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Mbona kuna watoto wametoka kwenye stable families lakini morality yao ni mbovu sana? na ni wengi tu sio wachacheMoral Compass on Children
We are social animals, and the family is the primary social environment in
hich children learn values and a moral code of conduct. Prosocial morality, including empathy, cooperation and conscience, are learned in early secure and loving relationships. Traits are formed, such as identifying with the needs and
feelings of others, knowing and acting in right and decent ways, and being respectful, tolerant, charitable, and fair.
A child learns the content of her parents’ moral code and has the desire to follow that standard. Children who experience maltreatment may develop antisocial morality; lack of remorse and empathy, are deceitful, manipulative, and selfish, and disregard the rules of society. They lack an inner voice and conscience to help them make correct decisions and curb destructive impulses. Prosocial morality evolves within the secure parent-child relationship by four
psychological processes: modeling, internalizing, attunement, and self-identity. Children learn more from modeling than by any other means—they do what we do, not what we say. When parents model empathy, honesty, integrity and caring about others, they rear children who have these same values.
Securely attached children are more caring toward peers and more likely to be chosen as playmates by age three, compared to those with insecure attachments. By age five, children with secure attachments are more compassionate and better friends, while those with compromised attachment are often insensitive and cruel, taking pleasure in another child’s distress. To be a positive role model you must set a strong moral example—walk your
talk. Do you control your anger and manage stress well? Show patience and follow rules? Indulge in unhealthy habits, such as excessive drinking, smoking, eating, or gambling? Treat your spouse and children with love and respect? Treating children with respect gives them the experience of being respected.
They are then more likely to show others respect.
Children also develop empathy and morality through internalization; they absorb the values and actions of parents and other role models. A child raised with loving care wants to please her parents, to see a parent smile, and feels upset when Mom or Dad is unhappy with her behavior. Over time,
children are not only motivated by rewards and punishments, but internalize a moral inner voice. Securely attached children internalize a prosocial inner voice that guides them toward empathy, honesty and self-control. They become self-directed, can think for themselves, and can judge their own choices and actions.
Children with compromised attachment may internalize antisocial standards,such as selfishness, aggression and dishonesty. Their inner voice tells them not to trust. Instead, they are guided by self-preservation and often by a lack of conscience and feelings of remorse. They are externally directed, scanning their environment for danger, and lacking an inner compass to guide and motivate them toward success and fulfillment. Emotional attunement is the third process that leads to empathy
and morality; being aware of our own feelings and mental states, and attuned to the inner states of others. For example, a mother and baby are becoming attuned to one another, "limbic resonance ," the key to emotional connection and secure attachment. The baby is learning how to be attuned to the feelings and needs of another person by mother and baby being attuned to one another. The fourth factor contributing to prosocial morality is a positive self-identity.
Caring for others starts with a solid and positive sense of self. As previously described, a child’s self-identity develops as a function of the way in which attachments are formed. A solid foundation of safe and secure attachment, with positive messages, healthy boundaries, and sufficient support, leads to a positive self-image. Children lacking this healthy foundation can develop a weak, fragmented and negative self-image. Feeling insecure and frightened, they fight to survive in a world perceived as threatening and unsafe, preventing the
development of empathy, kindness, or other prosocial values.
Tery Levy, Ph.D.
Ukweli huu. Ila inategemea pia na situation ikoje. Naweza lelewa vizuri ila nikakutana na tukio ambalo likanibadili somehow nikafanya yale nisiyofunzwaMbona kuna watoto wametoka kwenye stable families lakini morality yao ni mbovu sana? na ni wengi tu sio wachache
Na kuna watoto wako disciplined balaa na wamelelewa na single parents
Uko sahihi, lakin being Polygamous haizuii ndoa. Na huwezi fananisha Wanyama wengine na wanadamu katika namna ya kuyaratibu Maisha. We are social beings hivyo tunahitaji social setup ya kuweza kufanya maisha yawe na ustaarabu na utaratibu.Nijuavyo mimi, apes wote ni polygamous species, ikiwemo binadamu
sio lazima ndoa, ili watoto waleleleweUko sahihi, lakin being Polygamous haizuii ndoa. Na huwezi fananisha Wanyama wengine na wanadamu katika namna ya kuyaratibu Maisha. We are social beings hivyo tunahitaji social setup ya kuweza kufanya maisha yawe na ustaarabu na utaratibu.
Ni kweli kabisa. Lakini, muulize Single Parent yeyote, atakuambia Sio rahisi kulea mtoto bila mwenza na angetamani ampate mwenza wa kusaidiana naye malezi.Mbona kuna watoto wametoka kwenye stable families lakini morality yao ni mbovu sana? na ni wengi tu sio wachache
Na kuna watoto wako disciplined balaa na wamelelewa na single parents
Huwezi zaa watoto wote timamu lazima wehu wawepo, lakini Stable family humbeba huyo mwehu sababu ya upendo na umoja wa kifamilia.Mbona kuna watoto wametoka kwenye stable families lakini morality yao ni mbovu sana? na ni wengi tu sio wachache
basi kumbe tatizo lako ndo hilo, single parenting & co parenting zinazaa matundaKwa Asili ya Mwanadamu, Single Parenting is not a Desired & Preferred system ya kijamii but ni matokeo ya kufail kwa mfumo rasmi wa Ndoa na Familia.
Watoto wana haribika kisaikorojia kulelewa na mzazi mmoja. Kwahiyo hiyo sio familia ni kikundi cha wahuniMkuu bandiko lako limezungumzia sana kuhusu familia na si Ndoa. Nikukumbushe tu inawezekana kabisa kuwa na familia bila ndoa, kulea watoto vizuri kwa maadili safi kabisa bila ndoa. Tunachokikataa ni hiki kifungo NDOA ambacho kwa asilia kubwa kipo kwaajili ya kumfaidisha mwanamke
NDOA NI UTAPELI