Few things I a have learnt about this mysterious thing called MARRIAGE:
A woman will probably have sex with any man she likes, while A man will probably have sex with a woman he can. But in a long run a man will marry a woman he likes, while a woman will get married to any man she can.
AU Katika lugha yetu pendwa iko hivi: Mara nyingi mwanamke anaweza kufanya ngono na mwanaume yoyote amtakaye yeye, lakini mwanaume atafanya ngono na yule mwanamke ambaye ameweza kumpata kwa wakati huo. Kwenye suala zima la NDOA wanawake wanakuwa na nguvu kubwa ya kuamua ni nani alale au asilale naye.
Japo sasa linapokuja suala zima la NDOA hii hugeuka kinyume, ambapo mwanamme huoa mwanamke amtakaye yeye, ilhali wanawake wengi huolewa na mwanaume yoyote anayeweza kuolewa nao kwa wakati huo. Kwenye suala zima la NDOA wanaume tunakuwa na nguvu kubwa ya kufanya maamuzi ya mwanamke gani wa kuoa.
Bahati mbaya sana, dada zetu walio wengi hudhania kwamba kwasababu hufuatwa na wanaume wengi ambao lengo lao ni NGONO, basi itakuwa hivyohivyo hadi kwenye suala la NDOA. Nilichojifunza ni kwamba wanaume wengi huwa tunachagua kupitiliza (We Become Very Peaky) linapokuja suala zima la mwanamke wa kuoa. Hatuangalii uzuri wa maumbile na ngono peke yake, na hapa ndipo tatizo linapoanza. Kuna wanawake wazuri mno niliwahi kuwa nao huko nyuma, lakini nilipoambiwa nioe mmoja wao sikuweza kukubali kabisa.
NB: A woman controls the access to sex, while a man controls the access to marriage.