Kama una stress pitia hapa, usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako

ILI KULINDA NDOA YAKO... HAKIKISHA
1. Unaoga na mkeo
2. Ukishindwa, basi oga na simu yako...
[emoji119][emoji119]

Hivi hii ni kweli

proskaeur said:

Eti samahani hivi katika tembea tembea zako ushawahi kukutana na masai anaongea BESI??

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Vipi Mmasai mwenye ndevu? [HASHTAG]#mbado[/HASHTAG]

alibakari said:

Mi sijawahi hata kukutana na Masai albino[emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

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proskaeur said:

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ila we jamaa umenifanya nionekane mwehu kwenye daladala.. daah!!!!

COMPLETELY v.s. FINISHED

No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference btwn the two words ‘‘COMPLETE’’ and ‘‘FINISHED’’. Some people say there is no difference btwn ‘‘COMPLETE’’ and ‘‘FINISHED’’, but there is.

When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE and when you marry the wrong woman you are FINISHED!

When your wife catches you with another woman you are COMPLETELY FINISHED and when your wife likes shopping so much, my friend you are FINISHED COMPLETELY!!!
[emoji3][emoji3][emoji3][emoji3]

kajojo said:

Huko nchini SOMALIA kuna mtu amechepuka Mara moja tu na kuhukumiwa kupigwa mawe hadharani hadi kufa.
Hii sheria ikiletwa Tanzania itabidi serikali iagize kwanza mawe nchi za nje maana yaliyopo hayatatosha.[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

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[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

Obamamtoto said:

[HASHTAG]#Chizi[/HASHTAG] alipanda juu ya mti wa mwembe asubuhi, akakaa juu hadi jioni, kisha akajiangusha, watu wakamuuliza "mbona umejiangusha?" Chizi akajibu "NIMEIVA"

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Kweli kaiva

Jamaa alipata ugonjwa wa macho ukamsumbua muda mrefu kazunguuka hospital nyingi mpaka kakata tamaa basi akaja kuambiwa pana doctor anaweza kumtibu akaenda huko
Doctor :umehangaika muda mrefu sana ila hapa kwangu utapona
Jamaa :yaani doctor nikipona nitakupa nusu ya utajiri wangu
Doctor akaanza kufanya tiba baada ya wiki akamfumbua jamaa kitambaa kisha akamuuliza
Doctor :unaona nini?
Jamaa :sioni kitu
Doctor :alikuwa na nesi ambae pia ni mkewe yupo njema anaita rangi kama papai lililoiva na kigauni chake cha makusudi akamwambia aende mbele ya mgonjwa ainame kama anatafuta kitu basi huku doctor anamuuliza jamaa
Doctor :unaona nini hapo?
Jamaa :sioni kabisa lakini huku chini ghafla mpini ukamfyatuka kwa kumuangalia nesi mapaja yake
Doctor :akachukua panga acha mambo ya kijinga ungekuwa huoni ungeweza kudindisha nipe pesa yangu.

lothrito said:

ENGLISH BWANA TUWAACHIE WAZUNGU: #POLICE_ALIMKAMATA_MZUNGU!! POLISI: Yesterday I saw you at the maize
shop( Akimaanisha.........Jana nilikuona
dukani kwa muindi)
When you saw me you started to sixsix
(Uliponiona ukaanza kusitasita)
When I follow you run and plant a car (Nilipokufata ukakimbia na kupanda gari)
Now you are down of security
(Sasa upo chini ya Ulinzi)
Sleep and snake well before I cut you a
millet
(Lala na nyooka vizuri kabla sijakukata mtama)[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

SHIKAMOOOO KIZUNGU

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stickvibration said:

UKIMWONA MWANAMKE MJA MZITO ANATEMA TEMA SAAANA MATE,
UJUE MTOTO KAJAMBA TUMBONI[emoji3]

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[emoji1] [emoji1] [emoji1] [emoji1]

usatrumpjr said:

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[emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]
Hivi ukiwa unaangalia habari huwa umeshaweka camera ya simu yako ready?[emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji125] [emoji125]

alibakari said:

[emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]
Hivi ukiwa unaangalia habari huwa umeshaweka camera ya simu yako ready?[emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji125] [emoji125]

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Hili suala hata mimi huwa silielewi.
.
.
.
Au ni zile smart TV unaweza kurekodi kipindi au ku-pause!

TETESI ZILIZOPO HAPA
KUWA DAWASCO NA WAO WANATAKA KUJA NA YAO

LIPA UMWAGIWE[emoji2]

TANROAD Nawao hawakurudi Nyuma
GONGA UGONGWE[emoji3]

stickvibration said:

TETESI ZILIZOPO HAPA
KUWA DAWASCO NA WAO WANATAKA KUJA NA YAO

LIPA UMWAGIWE[emoji2]

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Ha ha ha ha ha ha we chizi kweli

alibakari said:

[emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]
Hivi ukiwa unaangalia habari huwa umeshaweka camera ya simu yako ready?[emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji125] [emoji125]

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Unakua una chart labda heheheee

ukiona mtu mwenye namba ya tigo anachati.... Ujue kasha jazwa

Numbisa said:

ukiona mtu mwenye namba ya tigo anachati.... Ujue kasha jazwa

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[emoji1] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji1] [emoji1] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji1] [emoji1] [emoji1] [emoji1] [emoji1] [emoji1] ,,,, so anatumia mjazo wake…!!