Kama una stress pitia hapa, usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako

Kama una stress pitia hapa, usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako

*MWANAMKE UKIONA HUJAWAHI KUMHISI MUMEO KUWA ANA CHEPUKA*,JUA HUYO SIO MUME NI SHOGA YAKO,
USIMUITE HUBBY MWITE SHOST
 
When a girl SUDDENLY stop singing in the bathroom just know that she is washing her *"..ISKABA ISKOROBOTO ISKELEBETE..[emoji444][emoji445]"*[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
 
Numbisa said:
Boss mmoja aliingia kazini kwake kasahau kufunga zipu ya suruali yake sasa secretary wake akamfuata na mazungumzo yakawa hivi:

SECRETARY: Boss leo umesahau kufunga geti nyumbani kwako…

Boss akabaki anashangaa… Baadae wakati anakwenda chooni kujisaidia ile anataka kufungua zipu akaikuta iko wazi ndio akajua alichokuwa ameambiwa na Secretary wake.

Akarudi mpaka kwa secretary na mazungumzo yakaendelea:

BOSS: Bibie ulivyoona geti wazi je uliona prado v8 langu lime paki ndani?

SECRETARY: Hapana Boss niliona kitoroli kidogo kimepaki kina matairi mawili yaliyoisha upepo!!![emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Saizi sekretari anakabidhi mafaili nadhani anapelekwa Ulaya[emoji2][emoji2]

[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
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shiu yang said:
Stress ni nini

Stress ni pale upo kuelekea kazini kwa bahati mrembo anakuomba lift
na bahati mbaya hali yake inabadilika unamkimbiza hospital, baada ya muda doctor anatoka anakwambia hongera, unajiuliza hongera ya nini ana kwambia mkeo ana mimba una tahamaki na kumwambia doctor huyu sio mke wangu lakini kale kadada kwa sauti ya nyororo kanamwambia doctor ni mimba yake, unapanic doctor anakwambia hebu njoo nikupime baada ya mida doctor anatoka anakwambia ni kweli mimba sio yako unashusha pumzi lakini anakwambia nilivyokupima nimegundua huna uwezo wa kudharisha unapatwa na mshitiko na kupata na big stress na kufikiria kama sina uwezo wa kudharisha wale watoto watatu nilio nao ni wa nani.!!?
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That awkward moment being introduced to somebody you have already slept with[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23][emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]
 
Me: I scratched your car
Dad: I forgive you son
Me: I failed at college
Dad: I forgive you
Me: I sniffed cocaine
Dad: That's bad but i still forgive you
Me: I made a girl pregnant
Dad: Go find a job and I still forgive you
Me: I support Man Utd
Dad: GET THE F... OUT OF MY HOUSE!![emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23][emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]
 
Your sugar daddy is someones else husband.... You give him flowers he repackages them and gives them to his wife...
his wife repackages them n gives them to her sugar boy.... Her sugar boy is your boyfriend now you are holding flowers thinking this flowers look familiar
 
Numbisa said:
*WASICHANA_WA_LEO:

*Jamaa yupo ndani ya Range Rover yake mpyaaa na msichana ambae ni mpenz wake
*Jamaa*: Kuna siri flani nimeitunza moyoni mwangu kwa muda mrefu na nikaona kama nitakuambia lazima utaniacha
*Msichana*: Siri gani iyo mpenz wangu?
*Jamaa*: Nimeoa
*Msichana*: *Weee* *umenishtua sana, mimi nilifikiri hili gari sio lako!*

Wadada akili zao wanazijua wenyewe....
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Sent from my TECNO-Y3+ using JamiiForums mobile app
 
Ladies if you tell your boyfriend your problems and he is like "what are you going to do" then my sister know that you are dating one of your problems[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23][emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]
 
Hehehe some men can brag about how many girls they have slept with but they forget to tell us how many minutes they lasted on them[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23][emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]
 
Nyie mnao sema mapenzi yanakosesha usingizi mnawajua KUNGUNI[emoji124][emoji124][emoji124][emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23][emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]
 
If a girl truly loves you she will always feel shy to ask you for money achana na hizi takataka zingine zinaitisha kama ni deni.[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23][emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

Leo nimegusa mtu roho[emoji124][emoji124][emoji124]
 
You keep sending her jokes to make her day. She keeps forwarding your jokes to him to get his attention. Ghelz!!![emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23][emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]
 
Numbisa said:
Ladies if you tell your boyfriend your problems and he is like "what are you going to do" then my sister know that you are dating one of your problems[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23][emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]
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