Kuanzia sasa mimi na wanawake basi, inatosha!

Kuanzia sasa mimi na wanawake basi, inatosha!

Magobe T said:
1. Pole sana.
2. Naamini katika ndoa hakuna mwalimu, au kila mwanandoa ni mwalimu.
3. Hivyo, kinachotakiwa ni ku'share' what I see from my perspective, which is different from yours, of course.
4. Mara nyingi uki'share' what you are going through kwenye ndoa yako, unachokipata siyo ushauri, bali mawazo ya mtu/mchangiaji anavyoona yeye angefanya nini katika situation kama hiyo.
5. Ukichukulia mawazo yake, kwa vile yeye hakuwahi ku'experience' hivyo au kama alipata hiyo experience si kwa mke uliyenaye, then unapata mawazo yasiyofaa/fiti kwenye context yako.
6. Sasa ushauri ukoje?
7. Ushauri ni mtu kufanya uchambuzi wa kile ulicho'share' na kuainisha issues ulizozitaja. Then, kwa vile si rahisi kupata mawazo ya upande wa pili, uchambuzi huu kimsingi uko very limited.
8. Hii ni kutokana na ukweli kwamba, kama tungesikia kutoka pia kwa mkeo, tungeweza kupata picha kamili ya kilichotokea kwa upande wako na upande wake.
9. Katika situation kama hii, mimi huwa sitoi ushauri wowote. Isipokuwa huwa na'share' nionavyo mimi.
10. Na hiki ndicho ninachoona mimi.
11. Kuna makosa tunafanya kwa watoto, ndugu na kwa wake zetu. Kama ukiona au kama unadhani unamsaidia mtu don't count the cost. Mimi nilisaidiwa na mjomba kusoma. Nilipopata kazi, akaona muda wa kurejesha nguvu ya fedha aliyotumia kwangu umefika.
12. Kuna wakati nilimsikia akisema, "alinisaidia nikasoma, lakini sina msaada wowote kwake."
13. Of course, ningependa sana kumsaidia mjomba, lakini sikuweza: mshahara mdogo, nimeona (nina familia), naishi na mama yangu, na wadogo zangu bado wananitegemea.
14. Haikuwa rahisi kugawanya hela niliyokuwa napata kwa wote hao. Hivyo, nilifanya kitu kinachoitwa "positive discrimination".
15. Niliona nina wajibu wa kutunza familia yangu kwanza, mama na wadogo zangu na mjomba anaweza kusubiri.
16. Siku moja ilibidi aniambie kwamba sina msaada wowote kwake, na mimi nikamuuliza: "hata wewe kufikia umri ulionao ulishasaidiwa na wengi, wakiwemo wazazi wako. Ulishawarudishia hela walizotumia kwako kiasi gani, na unadhani umebakiza ngapi ili gharama yote iishe?
17. Hadi leo mimi sina msaada wowote kwa mjomba au familia yake. Hapa nataka kusisitiza kwamba ukimsaidia mtu "never count the cost". Bali ona kwamba ulitakiwa ufanye uliyofanya na ndivyo ulivyofanya.
18. I'm sure hata mke wako ame'sacrifice' mengi kwa ajili yako. Umekuwa ukienda kazini, kusafiri, lakini ukirudi nyumbani unakuta mali yako iko/yenu kama ulivyoiacha, na wala hukuwa na sababu ya kumwomba mtu mwingine aje kukaa hapo nyumbani hadi utakaporudi.
19. Kama huna mfanyakazi wa nyumbani, mkeo amekuwa ndiye mpishi wako miaka nenda-rudi. Ukiumwa ndiye anayekuuguza iwe nyumbani au hospitalini...yote haya angeweza kuyadai umlipe au umrudishie, usingeweza.
20. Kwa kifupi, katika ndoa tunategemeana: wewe unaweza kuwa na fedha, na yeye anaweza asiwe na kitu. Lakini fedha haziwezi kufanya kila kitu. Ukiamka asubuhi fedha haiwezi kukusalimia "habari za asubuhi?" "Umeamkaje...au unaendeleaje?" Mkeo asiye na fedha, atakusalimia, atakupikia, atafua nguo zako, atazinyoosha...kama kuna baridi atakuchemshia maji ya kuoga, etc.
21. Kuna mambo yanaweza kutokea katika ndoa (mgogoro), tukashindwa kuutatua na matokeo yake tunaweza kufarakana na kuachana.
22. Kama tumeachana kwa hasira, hasira zikiisha tunaweza kuomba kurudiana. Kama tumeachana kwa sababu zingine, tunaweza kuamua kusameheana, na wengine wameapa kutosameheana.
23. Kitabu cha Methali 24:10 kinasema: "If you lose heart when things go wrong, your strength is not worth much."
24. "The logical (rational) thing to do when you are hurt is to forgive."
24. "Refuse no kindness to those who have a right to it, if it is in your power to perform it" - Methali 3:27, ona pia Methali 3:28-35.
25. Ningekuwa mimi, 1) ningesamehe, na kama ningeshindwa kusamehe, ningeishi maisha mapya yasiyonirudisha nyuma kuanza kupiga mahesabu ya hela na vitu nilivyovipoteza: you won't recover them. Hivyo, kufanya rehearsal tena na tena kwa maisha yaliyokwisha pita ni kutafuta msongo wa mawazo, shinikizo la damu, chuki na kuchukia maisha ya ndoa/hata kuishi. Pole sana kwa yote.
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Umeshauri vizuri, lakini mjomba wako tafuta hela kidogo tu, umpe hata mara mbili kwa mwaka, usimuumize kiasi hicho.
 
Saint Topman Michael said:
Maybe haya mambo ya mahusiano sio fungu langu, maybe nalazimisha nisipopendwa, ila ninachojua ni kwamba, umri wa kuishi wa binadamu ni miaka 70, acha huu muda uliobaki ni-enjoy mwenyew bila stress.

Ningekuwa nina kilema ningejua sababu ni nn, ningekuwa maskini ningejua shida iko wapi, ila wapi, inatosha sasa maana stress ninazopitia zitanizeesha kabla ya muda wangu.

Haya mapenzi sio kwa kila mtu, nami nimekuja kukubali kwamba sina nafasi kweny kweny ulimwengu wa mapenzi.

Nimemlisha, nimemvisha, nimemtibu, nimemtibu mama ake na kukesha nae hospitali, nilimpa sweta langu alivosikia baridi, nilimpa soksi zangu alipo ng'atwa na mbu, nilimpendezesha akanawiri na kunukia vizur, nilimnunulia feni aliposikia joto, nilipambana apate kazi na akapata, ila hayo yote ni bure, kwasababu mwisho wa siku, mwanaume ndiye anayechukua lawama siku zote.

Nilijitahidi sana kumtunza, na kumheshimu, but nilichokuja kuambulia ni maneno ya dharau na kejeli.

Ni kweli nimepoteza muda na pesa nyingi, but yashapita na mimi nimekubali, kuanzia sasa huu muda na resources nilizokuwa nazo nitazielekeza kweny mambo yangu na mikakati yangu, from now on its going to be all about me, my growth and my happiness.

Kuanzia sasa sitakuwa na mpenzi, na wala sitakuja kuwa mke, na sio kwamba wanachukia wanawake, lahasha, wanawake ni watu poa sana labda mimi tu sina bahati.

"My life doesn't have to be Perfect, It just has to be reasonable"​
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Kama wewe "Saint" unalizwa na mapenzi vipi kuhusu sisi tunaoomba kupitia "Masaints?😀
 
Saint Topman Michael said:
Maybe haya mambo ya mahusiano sio fungu langu, maybe nalazimisha nisipopendwa, ila ninachojua ni kwamba, umri wa kuishi wa binadamu ni miaka 70, acha huu muda uliobaki ni-enjoy mwenyew bila stress.

Ningekuwa nina kilema ningejua sababu ni nn, ningekuwa maskini ningejua shida iko wapi, ila wapi, inatosha sasa maana stress ninazopitia zitanizeesha kabla ya muda wangu.

Haya mapenzi sio kwa kila mtu, nami nimekuja kukubali kwamba sina nafasi kweny kweny ulimwengu wa mapenzi.

Nimemlisha, nimemvisha, nimemtibu, nimemtibu mama ake na kukesha nae hospitali, nilimpa sweta langu alivosikia baridi, nilimpa soksi zangu alipo ng'atwa na mbu, nilimpendezesha akanawiri na kunukia vizur, nilimnunulia feni aliposikia joto, nilipambana apate kazi na akapata, ila hayo yote ni bure, kwasababu mwisho wa siku, mwanaume ndiye anayechukua lawama siku zote.

Nilijitahidi sana kumtunza, na kumheshimu, but nilichokuja kuambulia ni maneno ya dharau na kejeli.

Ni kweli nimepoteza muda na pesa nyingi, but yashapita na mimi nimekubali, kuanzia sasa huu muda na resources nilizokuwa nazo nitazielekeza kweny mambo yangu na mikakati yangu, from now on its going to be all about me, my growth and my happiness.

Kuanzia sasa sitakuwa na mpenzi, na wala sitakuja kuwa mke, na sio kwamba wanachukia wanawake, lahasha, wanawake ni watu poa sana labda mimi tu sina bahati.

"My life doesn't have to be Perfect, It just has to be reasonable"​
Click to expand...
haya mashairi yapo katka wimbo gani na nani ameuimba?
 
Zinn said:
Umeshauri vizuri, lakini mjomba wako tafuta hela kidogo tu, umpe hata mara mbili kwa mwaka, usimuumize kiasi hicho.
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Yaani, issue si mjomba, ni ndugu ambaye ame'share' issue yake na mkewe. Mjomba kaingia hapa kwa lengo la kuonyesha kwamba "ukimsaidia mtu usiweke matumaini kwamba atakuja kukusaidia kwa sababu anaweza akashindwa halafu ukaanza kumlaumu na kupata msongo wa mawazo." Mjomba alivyonisaidia alifikiri anaweka akiba, na alipoona sijaweza kumsaidia alianza kutoa maneno kwamba mimi "sina msaada wowote kwake." Kumbuka ndugu aliye'share' kilichotokea kwake ni kwamba alimsaidia mkewe kusoma, na mambo mengine, na sasa mkewe kalala mbele na ndugu anakumbuka wema/ukarimu aliomfanyia mkewe, lakini 'haukufua dafu'. Unakumbuka wimbo: "tenda wema, nenda zako, usingoje shukurani zako" au simply ukiwa na moyo wa kumsaidia mchumba/mke/mtu ambaye shida yake inakugusa, usitegemee kukurushia as if 'ulimkopesha'. Hii ndiyo maana ya simulizi langu kuhusu mjomba. Don't help a person with the expectation that you will be paid back by that person. If you do, you'll be disappointed.
 
Saint Topman Michael said:
Maybe haya mambo ya mahusiano sio fungu langu, maybe nalazimisha nisipopendwa, ila ninachojua ni kwamba, umri wa kuishi wa binadamu ni miaka 70, acha huu muda uliobaki ni-enjoy mwenyew bila stress.

Ningekuwa nina kilema ningejua sababu ni nn, ningekuwa maskini ningejua shida iko wapi, ila wapi, inatosha sasa maana stress ninazopitia zitanizeesha kabla ya muda wangu.

Haya mapenzi sio kwa kila mtu, nami nimekuja kukubali kwamba sina nafasi kweny kweny ulimwengu wa mapenzi.

Nimemlisha, nimemvisha, nimemtibu, nimemtibu mama ake na kukesha nae hospitali, nilimpa sweta langu alivosikia baridi, nilimpa soksi zangu alipo ng'atwa na mbu, nilimpendezesha akanawiri na kunukia vizur, nilimnunulia feni aliposikia joto, nilipambana apate kazi na akapata, ila hayo yote ni bure, kwasababu mwisho wa siku, mwanaume ndiye anayechukua lawama siku zote.

Nilijitahidi sana kumtunza, na kumheshimu, but nilichokuja kuambulia ni maneno ya dharau na kejeli.

Ni kweli nimepoteza muda na pesa nyingi, but yashapita na mimi nimekubali, kuanzia sasa huu muda na resources nilizokuwa nazo nitazielekeza kweny mambo yangu na mikakati yangu, from now on its going to be all about me, my growth and my happiness.

Kuanzia sasa sitakuwa na mpenzi, na wala sitakuja kuwa mke, na sio kwamba wanachukia wanawake, lahasha, wanawake ni watu poa sana labda mimi tu sina bahati.

"My life doesn't have to be Perfect, It just has to be reasonable"​
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Sasa ut.atomba nini mkuu?mapenzi hayasuswi
 
Huduma Pendwa said:
Mkuu, naomba nitofautiane na mtazamo wako. Hiyo Positive discrimination ilipaswa imuhusishe Mjomba wako. Yaani, naye awe kipaumbele chako katika watu wa kuwasaidia (jukumu lako). Kumbuka, Wakati Mjomba wako anakusaidia, siyo kwamba alikuwa na kipato na hakuwa na watu wa kuwasaidia bali alikusaidia kwa upendo na alikuona kipaumbele chako.

Pili, tuache mawazo ya kuona Mwanamke siyo muhitaji wa kuwa na Familia na kutimiza wajibu wake na hivyo kuwepo uhitaji wa kulipwa wanapotekeleza majukumu yao ya kifamilia!!

Ifike mahali, Wanaume tuamke. Sex na Familia, siyo hitaji la Mwanaume pekee, hata Mwanamke anahitaji pia.
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Ndo hapo, kabugi sana alivyomtupa mjomba wake, mfano angekuwa ndo baba yake mzazi je, angemtupa?
 
Saint Topman Michael said:
Maybe haya mambo ya mahusiano sio fungu langu, maybe nalazimisha nisipopendwa, ila ninachojua ni kwamba, umri wa kuishi wa binadamu ni miaka 70, acha huu muda uliobaki ni-enjoy mwenyew bila stress.

Ningekuwa nina kilema ningejua sababu ni nn, ningekuwa maskini ningejua shida iko wapi, ila wapi, inatosha sasa maana stress ninazopitia zitanizeesha kabla ya muda wangu.

Haya mapenzi sio kwa kila mtu, nami nimekuja kukubali kwamba sina nafasi kweny kweny ulimwengu wa mapenzi.

Nimemlisha, nimemvisha, nimemtibu, nimemtibu mama ake na kukesha nae hospitali, nilimpa sweta langu alivosikia baridi, nilimpa soksi zangu alipo ng'atwa na mbu, nilimpendezesha akanawiri na kunukia vizur, nilimnunulia feni aliposikia joto, nilipambana apate kazi na akapata, ila hayo yote ni bure, kwasababu mwisho wa siku, mwanaume ndiye anayechukua lawama siku zote.

Nilijitahidi sana kumtunza, na kumheshimu, but nilichokuja kuambulia ni maneno ya dharau na kejeli.

Ni kweli nimepoteza muda na pesa nyingi, but yashapita na mimi nimekubali, kuanzia sasa huu muda na resources nilizokuwa nazo nitazielekeza kweny mambo yangu na mikakati yangu, from now on its going to be all about me, my growth and my happiness.

Kuanzia sasa sitakuwa na mpenzi, na wala sitakuja kuwa mke, na sio kwamba wanachukia wanawake, lahasha, wanawake ni watu poa sana labda mimi tu sina bahati.

"My life doesn't have to be Perfect, It just has to be reasonable"​
Click to expand...
Nilijitahidi sana kumtunza, na kumheshimu, but nilichokuja kuambulia ni maneno ya dharau na kejeli.

ACHA KULIA LIA, NO WOMAN NEEDS A GOOD GUY MR. NICE GUY, unasema ulimheshimu...yeye alikuheshimu !?? Hapana hakuheshimu....big mstake...yeye akuheshimu wewe mpende.....tumia akili sio hisia.......sasa unahamia kwenye sabuni nyeto au ? au utadate wanaume wenzio...!? shida hamsimami nafasi yenu mnamfanya mwanamek awe kama kiongozi wako wa maamuzi kukuendesha n aunatumia tumia moyo badala ya akili
 
Under-cover said:
Mkuu ndio ninachopitia hapa , i swear nikipona sitarudia tena nimejifunza, yani unakuwa loyal sio mambo mengi ila unavyokuja kulipwa 🙌.
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Why are you guys loyal to women? trying to please them as Mr. Nice Guys
 
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