Kama una stress pitia hapa, usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako

[Sir_Mimi]

 

[oscarbanzi]

[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

 

[James Mhangwa]

Kuna vijimisemo vifupi vimeibuka huku kwenye mitandao kwa sasa, yaani ni full burudani!
Ukivisomo mwisho lazima ubaki mdomo wazi au ucheke, baadhi ya niliyokutana nayo naweka hapa, pia karibuni kwa wenye zaidi tuburudike pamoja!

Leo kidogo nipigwe na MWANAMKE baada ya LIFTI kusimama...wakati tupo kwenye lift Nilikua nayaangalia MAZIWA yake akasema "Bonyeza Moja"[emoji196][emoji196] mi si nikalibonyeza?
Yaani had sasa
bado najiuliza nilipokosea.

Hivi Utajisikieje Utakaposikia Rafiki Yako wa Karibu Hajaja Kwenye Mazishi Yako ???!
Nadhani Mimi Sitamwongelesha Tena !!!! [emoji34][emoji34][emoji34][emoji34]
I think nakaribia kupona

Nimenunua chips ili nile kwa bahat mbaya mtoto wa mama mwingine amekaa next to me akaanza kuzililia.
Imebidi nivae earphones. [emoji19]Napenda watoto, ila utoto ndio sipendi..

Jana nimepita njia ya mkato makaburini warembo wawili wakawa wananikimbilia wanatetemeka Eti tunaogopa kupita peke yetu na mm Nikawajibu hata mm nilivyokuwa hai nilikuwa naogopa sana . Wakazimia
Sipendagi kufatwa fatwa mm[emoji57][emoji57][emoji57]

[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

 

[Kaizer]

[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] chaa

[emoji12] [emoji1] [emoji1] [emoji1]

 

[the maze]

Rafik angu kachora tatoo ya jina la dem wake juzi... leo kaskia dem wake anaolewa nipo nae apa tunasubiri pasi ipate moto...

[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

 

[Khantwe]

[emoji12] [emoji1] [emoji1] [emoji1]

Hujambo mpenzi Kaizer

 

[Jogoo wa Shamba II]

jana nmetoka kuangalia movie ya kivita,na mm nkajiona kama nmeshakua stering vle..nkachkua mwiko nkatokea nao barabaran nkasimamisha difenda la FFU nkawauliza mnatoka wapi na mnaenda wap?
Hadi sasa hivi nupo kitandan napewa matibabu, @@@AKILI YANGU NAIJUA MWENYEWE!!!ahaaaa

 

[Zamba]

Mkuu kuwa na huruma angalau sema unawafananisha na ule mtungi mkubwa!

Daaah acha nicheke mie [emoji23] [emoji23]

 

[Zamba]

Leo nimeenda mahakamani, mara judge
akasema..
Order! Order...
Mimi na kiherehere changu nikasema..
Chapati .. Maziwa na ovacado tatu ...
Nimewekwa kwa karoom kengine hapa kanagiza..
i think wananiandalia chapati

[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

 

[Msomi hewa]

......Nimetoka zangu bar Niko chakari, Mara vuup namkuta wife sebuleni.

Wife: Baba Anduje karibu chakula

Mimi: Aaah!!, Owkey Umepika mini?( Kwa sauti ya kilevi)

Wife: Mme wangu ni ugali na samaki!

Mimi: Mmmh!! Ndo mana nakupenda we mwanamke.

Wife: Asante Mme wangu ila angalia samaki wana miiba

Mimi: Ooouh!!, wife usijali nimevaa viatu.........


[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji31] [emoji31]

 

[Msomi hewa]

.....Juzi nilimnunulia wife vile vichupi vyenye Kamba(Bikini)

Basi unaambiwa kuna siku nimetoka zangu bar kupata Yale mambo ya kikubwa(beer), Ile nimefika home ilikua almost 5:30pm
Nikamkuta wife amelala kifudifudi huku amevaa kale kachupi!!
Basi acha nianze kucheka mpaka wife akaamka

Wife: Vipi baba anduje mbona unacheka?

Mimi: Acha tu mke wangu yaani tangu nizaliwe sijawahi ona matak** yamevaa ndala....[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

 

[Freyzem]

House girl mmoja alipewa kazi na mzungu mara akavunja sahani.
Mzungu aliporejea,kazin akamuuliza 'what happened to my plate?
House girl akajbu: 'The dog wow wow friji paaa, mchuzi mwaaaa the vyombo pangalapangala the sahan ngelengenjee......the pasuka paaaaaaaa
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]hadi saiz mzungu bado anasoma dictionary hajui lugha gani imetumika[emoji23]akili yangu naijua mwenyewe.

 

[RRONDO]

Dah [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] mwanangu umenikamata!!!!

Kuna mwezio eti hakusikia sauti kajaribu kuunganisha na sabuufa! 🙂🙂🙂

 

[Freyzem]

Mwanafunzi wa kike wa form 3 kaniuliza swali eti kwa nini sperm ni nyeupe? Nlipoona sina upepo kulijibu nkamgeukia nkamuuliza ulizionea wapi ww mwanafunzi !? [emoji35][emoji35][emoji35][emoji35][emoji35]
saiz kesi ipo ofic kuu staki ujinga mmimi!!

 

[mkandumbwe]

Kuna mtu kanikera et nmemkubalia urafiki Leo tu Facebook anataka kujua kabila langu
Bac akajifanya mjanjaa et akaniuliza mbu kwenu mnawaitaje
Mimi nkamjibu hatuwaiti wanakujaga wenyewe
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
Si kwamba cjamuelewa ila sipendagi Ujinga Mimi

 

[Mwinyi_ole_mushi]

*Pale unataka kumwambia mpenz wako
"bby ww ni #TUNDA_WANGU unakosea unaandika bby ww ni #PUNDA_WANGU! "Ndipo utakapo toa macho kama demu wa
uswazi aliyeona noti ya elfu kumi"

 

[Ilankunda1234]

Mwanafunzi wa kike wa form 3 kaniuliza swali eti kwa nini sperm ni nyeupe? Nlipoona sina upepo kulijibu nkamgeukia nkamuuliza ulizionea wapi ww mwanafunzi !? [emoji35][emoji35][emoji35][emoji35][emoji35]
saiz kesi ipo ofic kuu staki ujinga mmimi!!

[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

 

[donaldson don]

Daaah iyo ya chips ni kiboko

 

[Candyscorpion]

[emoji485] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

 

[Candyscorpion]

Umeshawahi kwenda kwenye harusi halafu Dj akawa anaplay
mziki,wakati huo mziki uko sauti ya juu sana halafu unaongea na rafki
yako kwa sautiii ili akusikie, mara Dj
anazima gafla mziki huku
unapayuka halafu inakukuta
unapayuka "Bibi arusi mbayaa"
halafu umekaa nyuma ya meza ya
wazazi wake...
[emoji1][emoji1]

Hapo ndio utajuakuwa kiwembe na kisu vinakata lakini havina diwani[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji119] [emoji119] [emoji119]