Kama una stress pitia hapa, usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako

Guasa Ambonii · Jun 29, 2017

Ile dhana kuwa ukikitupa (kumwaga mbegu )ingekuwa unatoa sauti kama ya bunduki basi bongo ingekuwa kuna kelele kuliko allepo syria.

Aqua Man · Jun 29, 2017

T *My mom entered my room and saw me asleep. She held my head, slapped me and said to me "Your last seen on whatsapp was 1minute ago, stand up and go buy me bread"*[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

toroka uje mjini · Jun 29, 2017

SWALI LA LEO

hivi FACEBOOK,COUNTER BOOK na PANYA BOOK ni FAMILIA MOJA AU?

kauga JR · Jun 30, 2017

Big up

Freyzem · Jun 30, 2017

Anaandika Temba Daniel B akinakili kutoka kwa Wakili Msando Alberto

Kuna jamaa alipelekwa Mahakamani KIBITINI kwa kumuita Mh. Mbunge Nguruwe. Lilikuwa kosa lake la kwanza hivyo Hakimu akaamua kumuhurumia. Akamuachia na kumpa onyo asitumie lugha chafu tena.

Jamaa akainama na kumshukuru Hakimu akimwambia "nashukuru sana kwa kuniacha huru sikujua kama ilikuwa makosa kumuita Mbunge Nguruwe. Kweli sitarudia tena". Hakimu akamjibu "usijali unaweza kwenda". Jamaa akauliza, "Naweza kuuliza swali?". Akajibiwa na Hakimu kwamba anaweza kuuliza swali.

Jamaa akasema, "sasa najua ni kosa kumuita Mbunge Nguruwe, Je ni kosa pia kumuita Nguruwe wangu, Mbunge?" Hakimu akacheka akamwambia "sijui kwa nini ungetaka kumuita Nguruwe wako Mbunge. Ila sidhani kama Nguruwe atajali ukimuita Mbunge. Ndio unaweza kumuita hivyo sio kosa kisheria".

Jamaa akatabasamu na kuinama, kisha akamgeukia yule Mbunge na kumwambia "kwaheri Mheshimiwa Mbunge" [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23].!!

sajumo · Jun 30, 2017

Freyzem said:
Anaandika Temba Daniel B akinakili kutoka kwa Wakili Msando Alberto

Kuna jamaa alipelekwa Mahakamani KIBITINI kwa kumuita Mh. Mbunge Nguruwe. Lilikuwa kosa lake la kwanza hivyo Hakimu akaamua kumuhurumia. Akamuachia na kumpa onyo asitumie lugha chafu tena.

Jamaa akainama na kumshukuru Hakimu akimwambia "nashukuru sana kwa kuniacha huru sikujua kama ilikuwa makosa kumuita Mbunge Nguruwe. Kweli sitarudia tena". Hakimu akamjibu "usijali unaweza kwenda". Jamaa akauliza, "Naweza kuuliza swali?". Akajibiwa na Hakimu kwamba anaweza kuuliza swali.

Jamaa akasema, "sasa najua ni kosa kumuita Mbunge Nguruwe, Je ni kosa pia kumuita Nguruwe wangu, Mbunge?" Hakimu akacheka akamwambia "sijui kwa nini ungetaka kumuita Nguruwe wako Mbunge. Ila sidhani kama Nguruwe atajali ukimuita Mbunge. Ndio unaweza kumuita hivyo sio kosa kisheria".

Jamaa akatabasamu na kuinama, kisha akamgeukia yule Mbunge na kumwambia "kwaheri Mheshimiwa Mbunge" [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23].!!

Hahahahaaa naona mshkaji anarudi na katandinga LA magereza kachezea mvua UA miaka sita

Guasa Ambonii · Jun 30, 2017

Pana wazee tuna fahamiana sasa kila tukikutana harusini wananiambia bado wewe sasa nami nimewaamulia kila tukikutana mazishini nawaambia umebaki wewe tu.

Foxhound · Jun 30, 2017

Jamani kauli zetu zinaponza, Eid haikuwa njema kwangu, niliishia Central[emoji38] [emoji38] Nilimtuma mwanangu mdogo akalete mchele kwenye salfeti, akasema halijui, nikamwambia plastiki[emoji15] [emoji15] kutoka nje si kenda kusema baba kaja na mchele wa plastiki[emoji15] [emoji15] dah dakika 3 nyingi jamaa wamekuja na kuniambia niwaoneshe mchele wa plastiki ulipo, dah [emoji30] [emoji30] [emoji30] nilipigwa sana.

He! Kumbe nilikuwa naota[emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji125] [emoji125]

Mwinyi_ole_mushi · Jun 30, 2017

HV MBAL NA CHOO NI SEHEMU GAN
NYINGINE ULIKUWA UNAENDA KULIA
NYAMA BAADA YA KUIBA KUTOKA MOTON
WAKAT MAMA YAKO KAICHEMSHA JIKON

Mwinyi_ole_mushi · Jul 1, 2017

Kudate na mdada mwenye kichwa kikubwa
wala sio tatizo. Tatizo ni pale tu mnapokua
kwenye mood ya 'mahaba niue' akataka
kupumzisha kichwa kifuani kwako..ndio utajua maana halisi ya mahaba niue

Foxhound · Jul 1, 2017

SONG: JELA
ARTISTS: AVEVA & KABURU Feat HANS POPE
PRODUCER: TAKUKURU
STUDIO: JPM RECORDS

Tangu Tufungwe Siku Ya Tatu Imefikaa
Bora Leo Hii Hans Pope Umefikaaa
Tupe Ripot Za Usajili Msimbazii
Twasikia Ngoma Amebaki Jangwaniiii

Kusema Kweli Mambo Sasa Magumuuu
Haruna Naye Hapokei Hata Simu
Si Unamkumbuka Yule Tambwe Mabaoooo
Naye Kabaki Yani Yanga Warohooo

Kwa Hali Hiyo Ubingwa Hatupati Tenaa
Na Mwaka Huu Watabeba Mapemaa
Mo Afanye Ile Mipango Yetuuu
Japo Tushike Nafasi Ya Tatuu

Hiv Ni Kipi Hasa Kisa Na Mkasa
Kilichofanya Mpaka Sasa Mko Hapa
Nimesikia Eti Mmeiba Pesaa

Hiyo Ni Kweli Hatuwez Kubishaaaa

CHORUS

Hiiiiiiiiii Iiiiiiiiii
Pole Saaaaanaaaa
Hiiiiiiii Iiiiiiiii
Nyamaza Acha Kuliaaaaaa x2

Yani hiiii iiiiihhh mavugo anakusabahiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

yani iiiih iiiih iiiih Manara na kichuya wanakupa hii.....

[emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji125] [emoji125]

Guasa Ambonii · Jul 2, 2017

Pana jirani yangu nimetoka kumuona muhimbili amejeruhiwa kichwani na mkewe nikamuuliza tatizo akasema yeye alikuwa penye ibada nikashangaa sana ibada tu mkeo akupige akajibu ndio nikauliza ilikuwaje
"Dear God thank you for mercy for grace and for joy now I have faith " nikamuuliza hivyo tu akajibu ndio niliomba hivyo. Basi muda wa kutizama wagonjwa ulivyoisha nikampakia shemeji njiani namuuliza ilikuwaje ndio akasema jamaa karibu mara ya tano anamvizia akidhani amelala anapiga magoti na kuanza kuwataja taja majina hao wanawake wake shemeji kweli nikashindwa kuvumilia nikampiga rungu kichwani. Nilishindwa kucheka ila hapa tupo kwa Ras simba na ada tayari nimemlipia.

Aqua Man · Jul 2, 2017

_UTAJUAJE KAMA DEMU WAKO NI MBAYA???_

*NI PALE UTAKAPOMTAMBULISHA KWA WAZAZI WAKO.*

*KISHA UNASIKIA WANAKWAMBIA......*
*KIKUBWA NI UPENDO TU BABA.*[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

gkinabo · Jul 2, 2017

Kumburian said:
_UTAJUAJE KAMA DEMU WAKO NI MBAYA???_

*NI PALE UTAKAPOMTAMBULISHA KWA WAZAZI WAKO.*

*KISHA UNASIKIA WANAKWAMBIA......*
*KIKUBWA NI UPENDO TU BABA.*[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] haihitaji ufafanuzi tena.

Mwinyi_ole_mushi · Jul 2, 2017

ET KWA MFANO UKO KWENYE SHEREHE NA
POCH AU WALLET YAKO IKAIBIWA HAPO
HAPO ULIPOKAA NA UKIANGALIA PEMBEN
YAKO KAKAA DIAMOND PLATNUMZ NA
ALIKIBA,,,,HV KWA WEWE UTAANZA
KUMSHUKU NAN!!!?

Ketamine · Jul 2, 2017

lothrito said:
ET KWA MFANO UKO KWENYE SHEREHE NA
POCH AU WALLET YAKO IKAIBIWA HAPO
HAPO ULIPOKAA NA UKIANGALIA PEMBEN
YAKO KAKAA DIAMOND PLATNUMZ NA
ALIKIBA,,,,HV KWA WEWE UTAANZA
KUMSHUKU NAN!!!?

Diamond muuza karanga

amaizing · Jul 2, 2017

lothrito said:
Story hii ina funza......
Mtoto mmoja wa miaka iliyokadiriwa kufikia
kama miaka kumi hivi, alikuwa anakula embe
mara akakuta FUNZA....alichofanya aliacha
kulila akaenda kunawa
Nimekwambia story ina FUNZA....... nadhan umemuona.. Akili yang naijua mwenyew

[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

cosie1993 · Jul 2, 2017

alibakari said:
Ni asubuhi na mapema siku ikiwa ndio kwanza inaaza, upo kitandani unatafakari ni vp siku itakwenda mara unasikia mlangoni kwako kuna mtu anabisha hodi, wakati unaamka ukaone nani kabisha hodi unajigonga na kabati, ile unanyanyuka unaanza kutembea utoke nje unajikwaa na kitanda, unatoka nje ile unasindika mlango wa chumbani unajibana na mlango, kufika sebuleni nako unajikwaa na glasi inavunjika, unafungua mlango wa nje unakutana na jamaa anajichekesha na kusema kaka/dada tuna sabuni za urembo[emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji38] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji377] [emoji125] [emoji125]

namwabia ahsantee....

frank matovu · Jul 2, 2017

Mwalimu Wa Somo La Sanaa,eti Katuambia Tuchore Gari Inatembea Juu Ya Road,wakat Mi Cjui Kuchora, C Ndo Nikachora Road Tu
Tcha Kuuliza,mbona Umechora Road Tu?
Nikamjibu Kwa Kujiamin
Tcha Ulisema Tuchore Gari Linatembea
Tayari Limepita

cosie1993 · Jul 2, 2017

hesbone said:
Umeenda kutembea ukweni kwako baada ya chakula chausiku unapewa chumba chakulala inapofika usiku unatakakutoka kwenda kujisaidi kwasababu taa zimezimwa unapamia vyombo vya chakula sebleni kipindi unajalibu kupapasa uviweke sawa mala taa inawashwa na mama mkwe anaona umeshika vyombo anakwambia, baba kama hukushiba ungesema [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Leo nimecheka kicheko kikuu[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

Kama una stress pitia hapa, usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako

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