Kama una stress pitia hapa, usiache kutupia na wewe maneno yako

Wearing short skimpy skirts is not a problem, infact its very Sexy. The problem is wearing your Mini and looking all nice but when you see Guyz u try to Pull it down now forcing it to be long. Don't u see that u're deceiving yourself.

Screaming during Sex is romantic and its not a problem. The problem is Shouting words like; "JESUS: OOH MY GOD: HOLY MARY". U're having Sex, Not a Church Service. And besides i
don't know if u're reminding God to Punish you Later.[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Kissing your man is not a problem. The problem is how you do it. Stop making Sounds like a car Crash.[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

SHIMBA YA BUYENZE said:

Wewe unaona hiyo ni sawa? Kupoteza pesa kujikinga wakati "matibabu" ni bure?

[emoji3591][emoji3591][emoji3591]Ni utani tu bana. Daima kinga ni bora kuliko tiba [emoji1545][emoji1545][emoji1545]

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Nmecunja mbavu wallah

Wale mnaosema riziki ni popote hebu kauze bangi kituo cha polisi

Numbisa said:

Once you hear a Lady saying my child is my everything.
Just know that the father ran away.

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Fact

Numbisa said:

Wife: 'How would you describe me?'
Husband: 'ABCDEFGHIJK.'
Wife: 'What does that mean?'
Husband: 'Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.'
Wife: 'Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?'
Husband: 'I'm just kidding
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

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My ribs[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Freyzem said:

BARABARANI + UPEPO MKALI+ KWENYE BODABODA

(Dereva Ananipigisha Story)

Dereva: Siku Moja Bwana Zhziskp abzizos. Zhsosnshzs Umeona
Me: Eeeeeh

Dereva: Si akaja osj uzusi laosa jlqozos We Unaonaje?
Me: Kweli Kabisa [emoji30]

Dereva: basi Sasa gUskosjbs lzosks
Me:Ndiooo

[emoji2365]

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Daah mkuu umeua,na ni kwel kabisa

Numbisa said:

*unampiga mkeo halafu unasingizia pombe*
[emoji116][emoji116]
*Brother mbona hiyo pombe haijakutuma ukafanye fujo jeshini*
[emoji16][emoji3][emoji3][emoji3][emoji3][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

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Wahawahawahaaaaa

asubuhi sana said:

CCM INAWATAKIA ASUBUHI NJEMA [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

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Mmmhhhhhh [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

Sir Khan said:

Wale mnaosema riziki ni popote hebu kauze bangi kituo cha polisi

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[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] hata kichaa hawezi kufanya huo ukichaa

Binti kapigiwa simu na namba ngeni
Simu:hallow una mpenzi?
Binti:ninaye kwani we nani?
Simu:mimi baba yako,kumbe una mpenzi ndio maana unafeli shuleni.Ukija likizo utanikoma mpumbavu wewe.(simu ikakata) wakati binti yuko kwenye mawazo simu ikaita,namba mpya tena
Simu:hallow,una mpenzi?
Binti:sina kabisa
Simu:ahaaa mpenzi kwahiyo umenisaliti,ni mimi mpenzi wako
Binti😱oh samahani mpenzi nilifikiri ni baba amenipigia
Simu:ni mimi baba yako nilikuwa nataka uhakika.....

Numbisa said:

After a long night of making love,the guy notices a photo of another man on the woman's nightstand by the bed.He's worried *Is this your husband?*,he asks nervously
*No,silly* she replies snuggling
" *ur boyfriend then?*
*no not all* she says nibbling away at his ears
" *OK!is it your dad or brother??*" he enquires further
*No that's me before my plastic surgery*
🤣🤣🤣🤣
We still need water to wake the man[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

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hahaha thats disgusting!

Wife : I wish I was a newspaper. So I’d be in your hands all day.
Husband : I too wish that you were a newspaper. So I could have a new one every day!

Someone asked an old man : “Even after 70 years, you still call your wife Darling, Honey, Love." What’s the secret?"
Old man : I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her!

A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman ;
“Which book has helped you most in your life?”
The woman replied , “My husband’s cheque book!”

A prospective husband in a book store: Do you have a book called, Husband the Master of the House? Sales Girl : “Sir, Fiction and Comics are on the 1st floor!"

Grammar Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?
Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away!

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant;
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant;
Panic is when both are pregnant!

HOW TO KEEP YOUR BOYFRIEND:
1. Give him respect
2. Love him with all your heart
3. Don't cheat on him
4. Call and text him always.

HOW TO KEEP YOUR GIRLFRIEND:
1. Give her money
2. I said give her money
3. Don't forget to give her money
4. My brother just give her money.
5. My brother am not joking, give her money

Haya maisha bwana,shamba likiwa na bangi ni lako,halafu shamba likiwa na madini ni la serikali.