Saikolojia: Jinsi ya kuondokana na mawazo yanayoumiza au kuhuzunisha

Saikolojia: Jinsi ya kuondokana na mawazo yanayoumiza au kuhuzunisha

ywf said:
hii hali hunitokeaga sana hasa ninapokua mwenyewe (napenda kukaa peke yangu)najikuta roho inahuzunika sana nakua sina furaha kabisa alafu nakua natamani kujiua tena kifo cha haraka sana....hii hali inakujaga nakuondoka
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  1. Pole jifunze kukabili changamoto ucjekufa bure kisa stress
 
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LELELU said:
Aameen kaka
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Thread poa ongezea na ya huyu mama Mkenya
Stress Management (DR.Roseline Odede)
How to Reduce, Prevent, and Cope with Stress



If you’re living with high levels of stress, you’re putting your entire well-being at risk. Stress wreaks havoc on your emotional equilibrium, as well as your physical health. It narrows your ability to think clearly, function effectively, and enjoy life.

The goal of stress management is to bring your mind and body back into balance. By adopting a positive attitude, learning healthier ways to cope, and changing the way you deal with stress.



In the frenetic, fast-paced world of lawyers, many people deal with frequent or even constant stress. The hard-charging “Type A” personality, the self-critical perfectionist, the chronic worrier: they’re always wound up, always stretched to the breaking point, always rushing around in a frenzy or juggling too many demands.


Operating on daily red alert comes at the high price of your health, vitality, and peace of mind. But while it may seem that there’s nothing you can do about your stress level—the bills aren’t going to stop coming, there will never be more hours in the day for all your errands, your career will always be demanding—you have a lot more control than you might think. In fact, the simple realization that you’re in control of your life is the foundation of stress management.


Managing stress is all about taking charge: taking charge of your thoughts, your emotions, your schedule, your environment, and the way you deal with problems. The ultimate goal is a balanced life, with time for work, relationships, relaxation, and fun—and the resilience to hold up under pressure and meet challenges head on.


Stress management strategies.


1. Avoid unnecessary stress

Not all stress can be avoided, and it’s not healthy to avoid a situation that needs to be addressed. You may be surprised, however, by the number of stressors in your life that you can eliminate.


§ Learn how to say “no” – Know your limits and stick to them. Whether in your personal or professional life, refuse to accept added responsibilities when you’re close to reaching them. Taking on more than you can handle is a surefire recipe for stress.

§ Avoid people who stress you out – If someone consistently causes stress in your life and you can’t turn the relationship around, limit the amount of time you spend with that person or end the relationship entirely. Get a new job if you must.

§ Take control of your environment – If the evening news makes you anxious, turn the TV off. If traffics got you tense, take a longer but less-traveled route. If your working environment is too noisy, politely but firmly, get the noisemakers to quieten.

§ Avoid hot-button topics – If you get upset over religion or politics, cross them off your conversation list. If you repeatedly argue about the same subject with the same people, stop bringing it up or excuse yourself when it’s the topic of discussion. If you know topics that a judge will not allow you to argue upon, avoid it.

§ Pare down your to-do list – Analyze your schedule, responsibilities, and daily tasks. If you’ve got too much on your plate, distinguish between the “shoulds” and the “musts.” Drop tasks that aren’t truly necessary to the bottom of the list or eliminate them entirely.




2: Alter the situation

If you can’t avoid a stressful situation, try to alter it. Figure out what you can do to change things so the problem is avoided in the future. Often, this involves changing the way you communicate and operate in your daily life.


§ Express your feelings instead of bottling them up. If something or someone is bothering you, communicate your concerns in an open and respectful way. If you don’t voice your feelings, resentment will build and the situation will likely remain the same.

§ Be willing to compromise. When you ask someone to change their behavior, be willing to do the same. If you both are willing to bend at least a little, you’ll have a good chance of finding a happy middle ground.

§ Be more assertive. Don’t take a backseat in your own life. Deal with problems head on, doing your best to anticipate and prevent them. If you’ve got an exam to study for and your chatty roommate just got home, say up front that you only have five minutes to talk.

§ Manage your time better. Poor time management can cause a lot of stress. When you’re stretched too thin and running behind, it’s hard to stay calm and focused. But if you plan ahead, you can avoid these stress-inducing pitfalls.

Time management tips to reduce stress:-

§ Create a balanced schedule. All work and no play is a recipe for burnout. Try to find a balance between work and family life, social activities and solitary pursuits, daily responsibilities and downtime.


§ Don’t over-commit yourself. Avoid scheduling things back-to-back or trying to fit too much into one day. All too often, we underestimate how long things will take.


§ Prioritize tasks. Make a list of tasks you have to do, and tackle them in order of importance. Do the high-priority items first. If you have something particularly unpleasant to do, get it over with early. The rest of your day will be more pleasant as a result.


§ Break projects into small steps. If a large project seems overwhelming, make a step-by-step plan. Focus on one manageable step at a time, rather than taking on everything at once.


§ Delegate responsibility. You don’t have to do it all yourself, whether at home, school, or on the job. If other people can take care of the task, why not let them? Let go of the desire to control or oversee every little step. You’ll be letting go of unnecessary stress in the process.



3: Accept the things you can’t change

Some sources of stress are unavoidable. You can’t immediately prevent or change stressors such as the death of a loved one, a serious illness, or a slow working judicial system and other beureaucratic bottlenecks. In such cases, the best way to cope with stress is to accept things as they are. Acceptance may be difficult, but in the long run, it’s easier than railing against a situation you can’t change.


§ Don’t try to control the uncontrollable. Many things in life are beyond our control— particularly the behavior of other people. Rather than stressing out over them, focus on the things you can control such as the way you choose to react to problems.

§ Look for the upside. As the saying goes, “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” When facing major challenges, try to look at them as opportunities for personal growth. If your own poor choices contributed to a stressful situation, reflect on them and learn from your mistakes.

§ Share your feelings. Talk to a trusted friend or make an appointment with a therapist. Expressing what you’re going through can be very cathartic, even if there’s nothing you can do to alter the stressful situation.

§ Learn to forgive. Accept the fact that we live in an imperfect world and that people make mistakes. Let go of anger and resentments. Free yourself from negative energy by forgiving and moving on.



4: Adapt to the stressor

If you can’t change the stressor, change yourself. You can adapt to stressful situations and regain your sense of control by changing your expectations and attitude.


§ Reframe problems. Try to view stressful situations from a more positive perspective. Rather than fuming about a traffic jam, look at it as an opportunity to pause and regroup, listen to your favorite radio station, or enjoy some alone time.

§ Look at the big picture. Take perspective of the stressful situation. Ask yourself how important it will be in the long run. Will it matter in a month? A year? Is it really worth getting upset over? If the answer is no, focus your time and energy elsewhere.

§ Adjust your standards. Perfectionism is a major source of avoidable stress. Stop setting yourself up for failure by demanding perfection. Set reasonable standards for yourself and others, and learn to be okay with “good enough.”

§ Focus on the positive. When stress is getting you down, take a moment to reflect on all the things you appreciate in your life, including your own positive qualities and gifts. This simple strategy can help you keep things in perspective.

§ Adjust Your Attitude. How you think can have a profound affect on your emotional and physical well-being. Each time you think a negative thought about yourself, your body reacts as if it were in the throes of a tension-filled situation. If you see good things about yourself, you are more likely to feel good; the reverse is also true. Eliminate words such as "always," "never," "should," and "must." These are telltale marks of self-defeating thoughts.




Stress reduction tips
Beyond a take-charge approach and a positive attitude, you can reduce stress in your life by making healthy lifestyle choices and taking care of yourself. If you regularly make time for rest and relaxation, you’ll be in a better place to handle life’s stressors when they inevitably come.


Nurture yourself
Don’t get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that you forget to take care of your own needs. Nurturing yourself is a necessity, not a luxury.


Set aside relaxation time. Include rest and relaxation in your daily schedule. Don’t allow other obligations to encroach. This is your time to take a break from all responsibilities and recharge your batteries.

Connect with others. Spend time with positive people who enhance your life. A strong support system will buffer you from the negative effects of stress.

Do something you enjoy every day. Make time for leisure activities that bring you joy, whether it be stargazing or working on your bike.

Keep your sense of humor. This includes the ability to laugh at yourself. The act of laughing helps your body fight stress in a number of ways.



Unhealthy ways of coping with stress
Smoking

Self-medicating with alcohol or drugs

Using sleeping pills or tranquilizers to relax
Overeating or eating too little

Sleeping too much

Procrastinating

Withdrawing from friends, family, and activities

Filling up every minute of the day to avoid facing problems




If your methods of coping with stress aren’t contributing to your greater emotional and physical health, it’s time to find ones that do. There are many healthy ways to reduce stress or cope with its effects, but they all require change. You can either change the situation or change your reaction. When deciding which option to choose, it’s helpful to think of the four As: avoid, alter, accept, or adapt.


Since everyone has a unique response to stress, there is no “one size fits all” solution to managing it. No single method works for everyone or every situation, so experiment with different techniques and strategies. Focus on what makes you feel calm and in control.
 
sab said:
Mengine magumu aisee usiombe,

kwa mfano umefungwa kwa kosa lakusingiziwa , hapo nikwenda na msongo wa mawazo hadi mwisho …
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Kuna ukweli fulani hapa. Kuna baadhi ya hila ukifanyiwa kwenye maisha, akili na nafsi haiwezi kuwa sawa hadi litokee jambo la kusawazisha haki! Utaumwa, acha kabisa....the pain becomes physical. Ushauri wa kwamba ujifunze kusamehe unakuwa mgumu kutekelezeka kwa vitendo.
 
wakuu naomben msaada wenu ... unawezaje punguza msongo wa mawazo ..ni mwaka wa tatu huu nna jaribu kuondoa msongo wa mawazo watu wengi huniona na furaha au napowafurahisha nnapokua nao lakini nna maumiv makal moyon hivi wakuu msongo wanautoaje maana kazi nafanya ila naona kabisa unaenda kunimaliza wengi watataman wajue kilichonisibu hiyo ni story ndefu ila nipen njia ya kuondoa msongo kma huna hzo njia pita kushoto !
 
Kuondoa msongo wa mawazo hasa msongo uliokomaa sio jambo dogo.
Mara nyingi misongo inayotokana na tukio la siku moja au mbili huwa ni rahisi, lakini msongo unapokuwa umekaa ndani ya mtu kwa miaka zaidi ya mitatu mfululizo, tayari ubongo unakuwa umeshajijengea taswira kuwa haya ndiyo maisha yangu halisi.

Kumbuka kuwa akili ya mwanadamu ya ndani haijui kati ya hisia mbaya na njema, haijui kati ya unaolifikiri ni baya au ni zuri, iimradi unalirudia rudia kwenye akili yako hilo litakuwa ni jema kwako.

Kuna msemo kuwa uongo ukirudiwa sana huwa unaaminika na kuwa ukweli.

Njia mbili kuu za kuondoa msongo wa mawazo ni ya kwanza ya Kiroho, kumuomba Mungu akusaidie kama una imani na Mungu, hii inakuwa ngumu kwa wengi maana imekaa kiimani sana lakini inafanya kazi sana tu tena kwa watu wengi.

Njia ya pili ni ya kisayansi zaidi.
Njia hii ni kuishi kwa kuudanganya ubongo wako kwamba maisha haya unayoyaishi kwa sasa sio ya kweli, maisha halisi ni haya unayoyatengeneza.

Ingawa mwanzoni njia hii huonekana kuwa ni upuuzi ila ni njia rahisi sana na ndani ya miezi mitatu utaona mabadiliko makubwa sana.

Mfano kuna situation ambayo ukikutana nayo nafsi yako inachefuka sana, let us say mtu akikudhulumu.
Sasa unachotakiwa kufanya ni kuudanganya ubongo kuwa dhuluma ni jambo jema sana na unaliinjoi au kama ni upweke unatakiwa kuudanganya ubongo kuwa upweke ni jambo jema sana na unaliinjoi.

Mwanzoni akili itakataa kata kata, na kiwango cha msongo kinaweza kuongezeka, ila kadri unavyozidi kujidanganya na kujidanganya, ndani ya wiki tatu ubongo wako unaanza kukubaliana na uongo wako kuwa dhuluma au upweke ni jambo jema na automatically unapokuwa mpweke au umedhulumiwa akili italeta matukio mazuri ya kufurahisha yanayoendana na kile ulichoudanganya ubongo.

Hio itakuwa hatua ya kwanza umepiga, ya kupunguza machungu kwa kama 40%.

Hatu ya pili ni kuhakikisha kuwa kila unapokwenda kulala na mapema sana kabla ya kuamka wakati kausingizi kale ka asubuhi ambako unakuwa unajiuliza uamke au usiamke, unatengeneza picha ya maisha unayoyataka kwenye akili yako na uyayarudia rudia mara kwa mara, njia hii hutumiwa na mashirika ya ujasusi kutengeneza ma-spy.

Ndani ya mwezi mmoja utaanza kuona mabadiliko.

Pia katika hatua hii hii ya pili unatengeneza picha akilini kabla ya kulala au wakati wa kuamka ukionyesha dharau na udhalilishaji wa nafsi yako mwenyewe kwa situation ambayo unaona inakufanya kuwa na msongo.

Mfano unaweza kuwa ukiwa huna hela unakuwa na msongo sana, sasa unaanza kutengeneza dharau na kejeli ukijiona wewe ni mpuuzi kwa kuwa unaishi kwa msongo kwa sababu huna hela, huku ukikazana kujiona wewe ni shujaa sana kama utaishi bila msongo pale unapokuwa huna hela.
Ukiendelea hivyo kwa wiki tatu mfululizo akili yako itaanza kudharau scenario zote za kukosa hela na kuona ni upuuzi, hivyo unapokosa hela itapelekea kutokuwa na msongo.

Njia hizi zinafanya kazi sana, japo inahitaji nidhamu na kutokujilazimisha kuyaona matokeo ndani ya siku moja.

Angalizo.
Usifanye yafuatayo kipindi unapokuwa umekabwa na msongo
1)Wanaume wengi wanakimbilia kujichua(masturbation) ili kurelax nerves za mwili na akili, fanya juu chini usijichue maana kujichua ni kupigilia msumari kwenye kidonda, maana kujichua inatoa temporary solution, ni kama kumpa panadol mgonjwa ma maralia huku ukijua kwamba panadol inatuliza tu homa, ila si tiba ya malaria

2) Wengi hukimbilia kula vyakula vya sukari nyingi mara baada ya msongo.
Epuka hili, maana hio pia ni temporary solution tu kama ilivyo kujichua.

3)Ondoa ratiba za kuamka usiku ili kufanya kazi zako au burudani kama kuangalia muvi, mfano wanafunzi wengi waliokuwa na tabia za kuamka usiku ili kujisomea wanakuwa na tatizo hili na huwa hawajui chanzo ni nini.
Ukilala kama ni saa tano usiku au saa sita, hakikisha unauchapa usingizi mpaka asubuhi, maana usiku ndipo muda ambao brain inajikarabati na kutengeneza "neurotransmitters" mpya na kuharibu za zamani.
Kile amacho unakiita msongo kifupi ni neurotransmitters zinazobeba negative messages kutoka kwenye ubongo pindi unapokuwa uko chini ya tension fulani.
Kuziharibu na kuunda mpya inatakiwa upate usingizi mzuri usio na interruption na pia kuwa na positive mind.

4) Usipende kujilaumu laumu au kujiona uko tofauti na wengine ambao wewe unadhani wana furaha kuliko wewe, ukikosea jipongeze, achana na kujilaumu laumu.

Unatakiwa msongo uuface uso kwa uso,kama itashindikana ni bora ukalale, epuka kutumia temporary solutions.

All the best.
 
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