Siku ya Kwanza Kuongea Kiingereza mbele ya Kadamnasi kidogo nizimie

[Kichwa Ndio Mtu]

Kwenye ORGANIC CHEMISTRY,
Teacher: what is alcohol?
Student: Alcohol is the liquid that can make you shake or walk slowly.

Sawa bwana. Naona watu mmeamua kwa makusudi kulazimisha watu waende kwa dokta baada ya mbavu zao kuumia.

 

[KikulachoChako]

The...the....theeeeee....because.....you....know.....but...

 

[KikulachoChako]

Nakumbuka wakati tupo form 2 pale azaboy...walikuja wageni wazungu....sasa si unajua wazee tupo Chimbo...sasa kuna madogo walikuwa kama wamepishana viswahili....sasa wakati wanarushiana maneno...Mara wageni wakatokea wakiwa na ticha mmoja hivi...mzungu mmoja akawauliza what is the matter..??..
dogo mmoja akajibu....matter is anything that have weight and occupie space....ikabidi wazungu waendelee na shuhuli zao...

 

[irumba1]

Duh jf hadi raha

 

[MO11]

Nakumbuka wakati tupo form 2 pale azaboy...walikuja wageni wazungu....sasa si unajua wazee tupo Chimbo...sasa kuna madogo walikuwa kama wamepishana viswahili....sasa wakati wanarushiana maneno...Mara wageni wakatokea wakiwa na ticha mmoja hivi...mzungu mmoja akawauliza what is the matter..??..
dogo mmoja akajibu....matter is anything that have weight and occupie space....ikabidi wazungu waendelee na shuhuli zao...

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

mkuu kumbe hata shule tumesoma moja ?

 

[Raynavero]

ZANAKI tunaingia advance kwenye orientation course sasa kwenye kwenye kujitambulishakuna mdada akasema "my name is eliza i come from here here"

 

[franktemu123]

Tuliwahi kusafiri na Mstahiki Meya wa jiji Fulani hapa Tanzania (jina kapuni) kwenda kwenye mkutano wa kimataifa huko UK (London) sasa kumbe yeye sijui hakuambiwa au alifurahia per diem tu kufika kule waandaji wakawa wanamkumbusha kuwa unapaswa ku-chair one of the session katika mkutano duuh mstahiki meya akaniomba nimsaidie nikamuambia kwa wakati huo ndo nitakuwa nawasilisha pepa (mada) pengine waliamua kumteua yeye maana tunatoka nchi moja iwe rahisi kuni-introduce daah jamaa alipoona haina jinsi ilibidi asepe kiaina hakuonekana kwenye ile session duuh ikabidi nimuombee udhuru nika-act kama session chair kisha nikawasilisha mada/pepa. Sasa baadae jioni namuona kwenye msosi namuuliza mstahiki ulikuwa wapi akadai alibanwa na tumbo la kuhara

 

[utafiti]

Tuliwahi kusafiri na Mstahiki Meya wa jiji Fulani hapa Tanzania (jina kapuni) kwenda kwenye mkutano wa kimataifa huko UK (London) sasa kumbe yeye sijui hakuambiwa au alifurahia per diem tu kufika kule waandaji wakawa wanamkumbusha kuwa unapaswa ku-chair one of the session katika mkutano duuh mstahiki meya akaniomba nimsaidie nikamuambia kwa wakati huo ndo nitakuwa nawasilisha pepa (mada) pengine waliamua kumteua yeye maana tunatoka nchi moja iwe rahisi kuni-introduce daah jamaa alipoona haina jinsi ilibidi asepe kiaina hakuonekana kwenye ile session duuh ikabidi nimuombee udhuru nika-act kama session chair kisha nikawasilisha mada/pepa. Sasa baadae jioni namuona kwenye msosi namuuliza mstahiki ulikuwa wapi akadai alibanwa na tumbo la kuhara

Hahahhahaha duh

 

[Ctr]

The...the....theeeeee....because.....you....know.....but...

Mkuu umenivunja mbavu mpaka basi !

 

[Muttaline]

hamaa aliuliywa where is the key? akajibu I puted it up the table..... kiingereza ni shida

 

[nanjanga]

hahaaaa uwezi kulazimisha mbwa kula embe

 

[Humble African]

Form one hiyo pale Mwanza...demu mmoja alisema " my headmaster is headmistress!" Akiwa very comfortable kabsaaa. Then hapo hapo kwenye question tag..njemba akakurupuka " you took my book, tooknt you?" Ahahahahahha kiingereza hiki!?

 

[SOCIETY'S FOCUS]

Form one hiyo pale Mwanza...demu mmoja alisema " my headmaster is headmistress!" Akiwa very comfortable kabsaaa. Then hapo hapo kwenye question tag..njemba akakurupuka " you took my book, tooknt you?" Ahahahahahha kiingereza hiki!?

Question tag sasa!! it make you happy, "itn't it?"

 

[BelindaJacob]

ha ha..lugha ya malkia si mchezo.

 

[jMali]

wizin ze kafu ai em nek!

 

[mtoto wa kibopa]

Nakumbuka miaka ya nyuma nilishawahi kwenda Interview ya Bank Teller CRDB pale Azikiwe daah sijui ndo kiingereza au uoga maana nilikuwa nikiulizwa swali najibu kwa sauti kubwa kama napiga ADHANA MSIKITINI (Swalaa Swalaa saa 11 alfajiri) mpaka yule HR akaniambia ndugu hebu RELAX hiii sio vita!! si unajua tena umemaliza shule umekaa mtaani kazi huna ghafla uaitwa interview wee nilikremu vitu balaa kufika tu mi natapika hata nisivyoulizwa

hahahahaha umetisha mkuu

 

[jMali]

Ngoja namimi nikumbuke jamaa alikuwa anawasilisha proposal ya research project yake..ile anaulizwa bajeti akaropoka Three Laki....kizingu cha laki tatu kimepotea mbele ya hadhara.

lakini "laki" ni kiingereza, sema kinatumika sana india, yuko sawa.

 

[Tychob]

Siku moja tupo kwenye seminar ya koz moja inaitwa rural agricultural economy maarufu kama YELLOW BOOK kwa waliosoma SUA wataelewa, basi picha moja ilikua imebandikwa ukutani ikapulizwa upepo ikadondoka chini jamaa kule mbele akiwa na maiki alisema "what is that, ooh the picture drop down without becouse" basi tulicheka sana

ha ha ha aha aha aha aha. jamii forum raha sana

 

[Jamaa_Mbishi]

Mdogo wangu aliandika essay ya kwanza katika kiingereza na kunipa nisahihishe ndipo nikakutana na hii line: "...my first of my girl friend is when I meet her in the night of the moon of July 31, 1992 when my friends and me go to disco toto..."

Nikashikwa na kizunguzungu na kumuuliza alikuwa anamaanisha nini.

Akanijibu: ...demu wangu wa kwanza nilikutana naye usiku wa mwezi July 31, 1992 wakati nilienda disco toto na washikaji..."

 

[Comfucious pedagogy]

lugha ni tatizo,mzungu mmoja akasema sasa tumefanikiwa kununua mtombo mmoja wa kulainisha nyege badala ya mtambo mmoja wa kulainisha zege.