Ushauri: Nataka kuanza kula nyama ya kenge

Ushauri: Nataka kuanza kula nyama ya kenge

nyboma said:
Una shida mahali katika kichwa chako jaribu kumuona mtaalamu wa akili kabla hujajinyonga, pia maisha hayajawa magumu kiasi hiki hadi uanze kula kenge mkuu, pole sana kwa yanayokusibu..

Tangu uchapiwe mke wako na vijana wa DSO akili yako imekuwa kama ya mtoto mdogo..
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Aisee JF ndiyo nyumbani.😂😂
 
Sijui nimeumbwaje!, sichaguagi kabisa vyakula, chakula kinachopita mbele yangu twende kazi!

Nakumbuka nilimtembelea demu wangu, tabia yake ni mtu wa rafurafu (mchafu). Nikakuta kaweka chakula juu ya kabati, nikamuuliza hiko chakula vipi?, nipite nacho?, akaniambia kimechacha hiko, cha juzi. Kwasababu sinaga kinyaa na vyakula, nikakipiga. Demu alishangaa sana. Mpaka leo akipika chakula kingi ananiita tule wote japo tumeachana kitambo.

Kisa kingine, mwaka 2010 nimepanga zangu ghetto naishi kisela. Kuna msela tulikua tunakaa naye mtaa mmoja, mtaa ukawa unamsema kwamba anakula nyama ya paka, sikuamini!. Siku ya siku nakatiza mtaani kwao, salamu za kisela kwa wingi anakanikaribisha tupige stori. He!, kucheki mezani nikaona anamwandaa paka kwa ajili ya mboga, nikajisemea,usinitanie!, si unajifanya muhuni, mi' mwenyewe muhuni zaidi yako, tutakula wote huyo paka. Jamaa anaanza kumuandaa paka mwanzo mpaka mwisho mi' nipo naye sambamba tu napiga stori za kuvuta muda tumtafune paka wake. Kweli tukamla wote, kwenye kula nilikua na spidi, nikampunja.

Siku nyingine mida ya msosi nikikatiza kama anamuandaa paka ananiambia kwa woga, akijua nitampunja tena "mwanangu leo sipiki"

Kutokua na kinyaa cha kuchagua vyakula kumenifanya nisitembelee ndugu/watu. Mara nyingi chakula chote cha familia nzima ninayoitembelea, peke yangu sishibi.
 
Kenge wapo aina mbili tofauti (ninao wajua mimi)
1 kuna kenge wa kwenye miti, huyu hupenda kukaa juu ya mit.
Kikawaida kenge hawa huwa na mistari ya kijani mbavuni.

Kwetu kenge aina hii hatumli,( sababu siijui.)

2 kuna kenge wa kwenye miamba, yeye hana mistari na ningumu kumuona juu ya miti, yeye ni kwenye miamba.

Kenge huyu kwetu tunamuita Ng'ondo au Uswabi.

Huyu kwetu analiwa tena ni chapso tamu kabisa.

Sio kuhadithiwa, nimeshakula sana, tena nilikua nawasaka mwenyewe.

Tena kuna baadhi ya Waislam wanadai Ng'ondo kahalalishwa kuliwa.
 
Kibishi said:
Sijui nimeumbwaje!, sichaguagi kabisa vyakula, chakula kinachopita mbele yangu twende kazi!

Nakumbuka nilimtembelea demu wangu, tabia yake ni mtu wa rafurafu (mchafu). Nikakuta kaweka chakula juu ya kabati, nikamuuliza hiko chakula vipi?, nipite nacho?, akaniambia kimechacha hiko, cha juzi. Kwasababu sinaga kinyaa na vyakula, nikakipiga. Demu alishangaa sana. Mpaka leo akipika chakula kingi ananiita tule wote japo tumeachana kitambo.

Kisa kingine, mwaka 2010 nimepanga zangu ghetto naishi kisela. Kuna msela tulikua tunakaa naye mtaa mmoja, mtaa ukawa unamsema kwamba anakula nyama ya paka, sikuamini!. Siku ya siku nakatiza mtaani kwao, salamu za kisela kwa wingi anakanikaribisha tupige stori. He!, kucheki mezani nikaona anamwandaa paka kwa ajili ya mboga, nikajisemea,usinitanie!, si unajifanya muhuni, mi' mwenyewe muhuni zaidi yako, tutakula wote huyo paka. Jamaa anaanza kumuandaa paka mwanzo mpaka mwisho mi' nipo naye sambamba tu napiga stori za kuvuta muda tumtafune paka wake. Kweli tukamla wote, kwenye kula nilikua na spidi, nikampunja.

Siku nyingine mida ya msosi nikikatiza kama anamuandaa paka ananiambia kwa woga, akijua nitampunja tena "mwanangu leo sipiki"

Kutokua na kinyaa cha kuchagua vyakula kumenifanya nisitembelee ndugu/watu. Mara nyingi chakula chote cha familia nzima ninayoitembelea, peke yangu sishibi.
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Mkuu.
Wewe ni kama Waziri wa zamani wa Kenya Oloitiptip
Kenya@50.jpg

Former Cabinet minister and Maasai kingpin, Stanley Oloitipitip, was a big man – both in the literal sense and politically.

As you would expect of a person his size, legend had it that he had a big appetite too. However, his knowledge was scanty and was always prone to buffoonery.

Up until June 1984, the late Oloitipitip did not know that in Kenyan prisons there were no beds. He was to get the rude awakening after he was sentenced to 12 months in prison for failing to pay hotel accommodation tax in respect of a boarding house he owned in Loitokitok, in then Kajiado District.

Oloitipitip asked the presiding magistrate to be told whether there were beds in prison.

He was duly informed that he would find out ‘when he gets there’. One of his former prison mates at Kamiti told Drum magazine what happened immediately the man who was one billed the most massive Cabinet minister in the world arrived at the facility.

The first problem was that they had no uniform to fit him. Five prisoners were then asked to donate their shirts, which were cut up and made into Oloitipitip’s one prison shirt.

Another five inmates had to surrender their trousers to provide the material for his trousers. But the ‘big’ man was not done.

“That night, Oloitipitip demanded a pillow and several blankets. But it was then he discovered that there is one place in Kenya where former Cabinet ministers, pickpockets or Nairobi beggars are equal and that is prison,” reported the magazine.

According to reports, the Maasai kingpin was denied homely comfort for a night.

He also boycotted his supper. When the prison warders came and shouted ‘kaba’ (squat), Oloitipitip, not surprisingly, was the only prisoner who could not do it because of his gigantic size.

After a night at Kamiti, he was granted bail pending appeal, but before the case could be settled, Oloitipitip died at the home of a leading Maasai witchdoctor on January 22, 1985, near Loitokitok.

Although not much is known about what had transpired at the witchdoctor’s quarters to lead to his death, legend had it that even as Oloitipitip’s health continued to deteriorate, his appetite remained intact.

He is said to have devoured the medicine man’s chickens and goats with such ravenousness that his hosts started getting worried if they could keep up with his huge appetite.

“He had left hospital against the instructions of the doctors and before leaving had signed a certificate to the effect that he was leaving on his own volition and that he was not being discharged. One of his sons countersigned. That did it. Oloitipitip who claimed to be a Christian put his family in an embarrassing situation,” reported Drum.

This made it difficult for a Christian clergy to preside over his burial. He was nonetheless buried. Today, one of his trademark initiatives – Moi Girls School Isinya still remains standing. He mooted and spearheaded the idea of girls’ secondary school at Isinya in 1980.

Chanzo cha taarifa na taswira: kwa hisani ya The Standard la Kenya.
 
Superbug said:
Nyama ya mamba inaliwa na inauzwa ghali Sana kg 1 ni 30,000/= pale kibaha kwa mzungu Sasa mamba na kenge ni ndugu je Kuna tatizo naomba ushauri.

Naishi pembeni ya mto Kuna kenge wengi Sana.
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😂😂😂
 
Kitoabu said:
Kenge wapo aina mbili tofauti (ninao wajua mimi)
1 kuna kenge wa kwenye miti, huyu hupenda kukaa juu ya mit.
Kikawaida kenge hawa huwa na mistari ya kijani mbavuni.

Kwetu kenge aina hii hatumli,( sababu siijui.)

2 kuna kenge wa kwenye miamba, yeye hana mistari na ningumu kumuona juu ya miti, yeye ni kwenye miamba.

Kenge huyu kwetu tunamuita Ng'ondo au Uswabi.

Huyu kwetu analiwa tena ni chapso tamu kabisa.

Sio kuhadithiwa, nimeshakula sana, tena nilikua nawasaka mwenyewe.

Tena kuna baadhi ya Waislam wanadai Ng'ondo kahalalishwa kuliwa.
Click to expand...
Hahahaaa... ni mtamu kwa nazi ya Kisarawe au?
 
Kibishi said:
Sijui nimeumbwaje!, sichaguagi kabisa vyakula, chakula kinachopita mbele yangu twende kazi!

Nakumbuka nilimtembelea demu wangu, tabia yake ni mtu wa rafurafu (mchafu). Nikakuta kaweka chakula juu ya kabati, nikamuuliza hiko chakula vipi?, nipite nacho?, akaniambia kimechacha hiko, cha juzi. Kwasababu sinaga kinyaa na vyakula, nikakipiga. Demu alishangaa sana. Mpaka leo akipika chakula kingi ananiita tule wote japo tumeachana kitambo.

Kisa kingine, mwaka 2010 nimepanga zangu ghetto naishi kisela. Kuna msela tulikua tunakaa naye mtaa mmoja, mtaa ukawa unamsema kwamba anakula nyama ya paka, sikuamini!. Siku ya siku nakatiza mtaani kwao, salamu za kisela kwa wingi anakanikaribisha tupige stori. He!, kucheki mezani nikaona anamwandaa paka kwa ajili ya mboga, nikajisemea,usinitanie!, si unajifanya muhuni, mi' mwenyewe muhuni zaidi yako, tutakula wote huyo paka. Jamaa anaanza kumuandaa paka mwanzo mpaka mwisho mi' nipo naye sambamba tu napiga stori za kuvuta muda tumtafune paka wake. Kweli tukamla wote, kwenye kula nilikua na spidi, nikampunja.

Siku nyingine mida ya msosi nikikatiza kama anamuandaa paka ananiambia kwa woga, akijua nitampunja tena "mwanangu leo sipiki"

Kutokua na kinyaa cha kuchagua vyakula kumenifanya nisitembelee ndugu/watu. Mara nyingi chakula chote cha familia nzima ninayoitembelea, peke yangu sishibi.
Click to expand...
www.standardmedia.co.ke

When former Cabinet minister Stanley Oloitipitip learnt prisons don’t have beds

Former Cabinet minister and Maasai kingpin, Stanley Oloitipitip, was a big man – both in the literal sense and politically.
www.standardmedia.co.ke www.standardmedia.co.ke
 
Ila ukumbuke, ukianza kula nyama ya kenge hutaacha kabisa, ni kama kula nyama ya binadamu tu. Ukishakuwa nyama ya binadamu hutaacha asilani!
 
Siku hizi maisha yanabadirika sana, leo mbwa na paka wanaweza kukaa kwa pamoja na kutulia hawafukuzani kama zamani, sema kwa paka na panya ndo ugomvi bado hujaisha, na mambo mengine ndo yanazidi kuibuka tu kama mkuu, naomba nikuletee na simba kama hutojali!?😅😅
 
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