Kumbukumbu ya moja ya tarehe mbaya kutokea (Worse Date Ever)

Kumbukumbu ya moja ya tarehe mbaya kutokea (Worse Date Ever)

Hahahaha I went out for dinner with a guy.
Tukaagiza vinywaji pale fresh tukisubiria chakula sasa.
Mimi nikaagiza makange ya samaki yeye akaagiza kuku.

Movie inaanza kwanza kwenye kiti kakaa hatulii, mara ajinyooshe , mara ajikunye, mara anyooshe miguu hadi inafika kwangu ananikanyaga anasema aah sorry bhana.

Mimi namuuliza tu "kila kitu kipo sawa"? Anasema ndio. Mara kila saa anauliza mambo mengine vipi lakini? Mara nimefurahi umekubali kutoka na mimi. Anarudia rudia kila dakika. Basi mimi nishakwazika ila najikaza tu.

Chakula si kikaja? Anakula kama ndama? Yaani ile tafuna khaaa[emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787] kama ng'ombe yaani yaani ni "kata kata kata nyam nyam nyamnm" halafu hiyo kuku anainyofoa vyofoa kama ana mapengo.

Halafu hatulii, mara akapiga glass na kiwiko cha mkono pombe ikamwagikia[emoji1787][emoji1787]. Nikasema hii kali.

Nilivyotoka hapo, nikamblock.
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23] hai ndo wazee wa wenge
 
Ndio maana inashauriwa mwanaume kaabla hujaenda date na pisi kali kwanza make sure u shake hands with the one eyed milkman 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Inasaidia kuwa calm
Hii ni chai bila maandazi...😀😀😀
 
Nyingine ni miezi miwili ago nlienda Mkoa flani.basi nikamkumbuka binti mmoja ambaye tulikutana naye facebook toka mwaka 2009 tukawa friends. Kumbe baadaye akawa amepangwa kikazi huo mkoa.

Basi nilipoenda nikamweka sawa....nikambembeleza sana tuonane anipe game. Bint alikuwa anaonekana mrembo sana. Yaani ukicheck picha zake...hatari sana.

Basi siku hiyo akakubali tukale nyama choma sehemu. Nikaenda akaja hiyo sehemu... Kumcheck...daahh.... Vidole vimekomaa...usoni hayupo soft vile anavyoonekana.

Miguuni vidole kama tangawizi. Mbaya zaidi anaongea acha. Ana majidai ya kipuuzi kuwa anapata shida sana pale mkoani. Ye amezoea Dar kwenda maeneo ghali. Kule anaona kama ni bush. Anateseka sana.

Maneno mengi akipokea simu ni kuwachamba wateja wake ambao anawauzia vitu online... Anasema "mimi unajua sina mbambamba wala mbembembe..." Mi hata sielewi hayo maneno maana yake nini.

Yule dada alikuwa anaongea sijapata ona.maneno tu ya kiswazi mara anawagombeza wahudumu, mara anawafokea...mimi ndo nampoza na kuwaomba msamaha wahudumu. Tulipomaliza nikamwambia nina dharura nataka fika sehemu then nitamtafuta jioni.

Akanifuata hadi kwenye gari akaingia amekaa kushoto. Nami nimeshawasha gari. AC inapuliza tu. Amekaa anataka apige stories. Nikamkumbusha nawahi sehemu mara moja. Akaniambia kwani hatuwezi enda wote...nikamwambia hapana nitarudi....demu bado analeta stories hapo sasa kidogo nikakaza. Akashuka shingo upande.

Nlipoondoka nilikimbiza gari utadhani atanifukuzia. Nikarudi hotel nikazima na simu. Usiku nakuja washa simu msg kama zote. Sikujibu akaendelea akaona sina mwelekeo. Akaja laumu sana kuwa nlikuwa namtaka kimapenzi halafu nimechenga....

Mimi na mademu waswahili mbalimbali kabisaa....
Hahahahah nmecheka sana kwenye Mimi sina mbambamba,
Hapo anamaanisha yeye yuko straight kama mtu amezingua anamchana hapo hapo
 
nilimkimbia mjeshi akiwa kambi ya airwing ukonga, nilijuana nae marafiki dot.com, mwembamba sio mzuka kimvuto alinikubali kinoma, nikapiga hesabu mjeda nikaona kwata kwata sitaki square, siku akiniona nahisi atanibaka nilima denda hadi alikojoa, nilimla kipakistan facebook nimemblock, kifungo kinakaribia kuisha nimsahe soon
 
Kipindi nipo Chuo siku hiyo kulikua na vimanyunyu nilitoka kwa mguu toka off-campus mpaka chuoni mwendo kama dakika 15 hivi kumfuata mrembo muda wote tunawasiliana na bibie.

Kufika namshtua nimefika anachungulia nje anaona vimanyunyu anasema hataweza kuja kuniona sababu ya mvua nywele zake zitaloa. Najaribu muelewesha lakini haelewi palepale nikamblock na kurudi zangu mdogo mdogo maghettoni, safari ya kurejea ilikua ndefu hiyo njia nzima nasonya na kutukana 😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣
 
Hahahaha I went out for dinner with a guy.
Tukaagiza vinywaji pale fresh tukisubiria chakula sasa.
Mimi nikaagiza makange ya samaki yeye akaagiza kuku.

Movie inaanza kwanza kwenye kiti kakaa hatulii, mara ajinyooshe , mara ajikunye, mara anyooshe miguu hadi inafika kwangu ananikanyaga anasema aah sorry bhana.

Mimi namuuliza tu "kila kitu kipo sawa"? Anasema ndio. Mara kila saa anauliza mambo mengine vipi lakini? Mara nimefurahi umekubali kutoka na mimi. Anarudia rudia kila dakika. Basi mimi nishakwazika ila najikaza tu.

Chakula si kikaja? Anakula kama ndama? Yaani ile tafuna khaaa[emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787] kama ng'ombe yaani yaani ni "kata kata kata nyam nyam nyamnm" halafu hiyo kuku anainyofoa vyofoa kama ana mapengo.

Halafu hatulii, mara akapiga glass na kiwiko cha mkono pombe ikamwagikia[emoji1787][emoji1787]. Nikasema hii kali.

Nilivyotoka hapo, nikamblock.
Labda ulikuwa pisi kali mpaka akapangawa akaingia mchecheto
 
Halafu wala sio kichaa ila sijui kwanini ali behave that way. Maana sio kwamba hata hakuwa na hela useme niliagiza sana akachanganyikiwa, hapana.

Au labda alikuwa anaumwa na tumbo. Nikaona siwezi ku deal naye mimi
Ungempa nafasi nyingine
 
Hadi nikawaza labda tulivyokuwa pale alimuona mtu labda anajuana naye labda mpenzi wake au ex. Maana zile stail hapana. Huo usiku niliuchukia sana.
Kwanini ulichukia kwani wewe hupendi comedy?
 
Nikiwa 1St yr Chuo, kuna siku nilikua na appointment na mtu fulan, daaah tulipokutan kumbe kaja na rafiki zake, afu m1 wapo n mtu wa mtaan kwetu na pia n classmates wangu wa primary,

Nlijisikia vibayaaa sanaaa, sikuwa huru japo nilijikaza kukaa tyuuh palee, baada ya kuagana na kuondoka, nkamuambia kila mtu ashike 40 zake, na tufanye km hatujawahi kujuana [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Cha ajabu sasa classmates ndo akaanza kunisumbua na yeye, pia nikamfungia kioo,, sitaki mazoea ya kupitiliza, uwiiiiiiih

Sent from my Infinix X652C using JamiiForums mobile app
Wote walitaka kukula?
 
Safi sana Mnyamwezi wa Sikonge au Ulyankulu? Na humu wanyamwezi watakuwepo tu wengi. Nliwahi pia chukua mademu wa kinyamwezi huwa wanafigure nzuri sana.
ukielewa ukawa na kiburi me nakuacha.
 
Hahahaha I went out for dinner with a guy.
Tukaagiza vinywaji pale fresh tukisubiria chakula sasa.
Mimi nikaagiza makange ya samaki yeye akaagiza kuku.

Movie inaanza kwanza kwenye kiti kakaa hatulii, mara ajinyooshe , mara ajikunye, mara anyooshe miguu hadi inafika kwangu ananikanyaga anasema aah sorry bhana.

Mimi namuuliza tu "kila kitu kipo sawa"? Anasema ndio. Mara kila saa anauliza mambo mengine vipi lakini? Mara nimefurahi umekubali kutoka na mimi. Anarudia rudia kila dakika. Basi mimi nishakwazika ila najikaza tu.

Chakula si kikaja? Anakula kama ndama? Yaani ile tafuna khaaa[emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787] kama ng'ombe yaani yaani ni "kata kata kata nyam nyam nyamnm" halafu hiyo kuku anainyofoa vyofoa kama ana mapengo.

Halafu hatulii, mara akapiga glass na kiwiko cha mkono pombe ikamwagikia[emoji1787][emoji1787]. Nikasema hii kali.

Nilivyotoka hapo, nikamblock.
🤣🤣🤣 sio vizuri bana inaonyesha haukumwelewa. Ulimchuna tu siku ile
 
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