Wanaume, acheni kulazimisha utiifu kutoka kwa wanawake!

Wanaume, acheni kulazimisha utiifu kutoka kwa wanawake!

Kiranga said:
Hizi mada muwe mnaziweka na qualification, caveat emptor, context kwamba mnajikita kuwaongelea wanaume wa aina gani, nuance.

Ili kuondoa muonekano kwamba mmelundika wanaume karibu wote kwenye kundi moja.

Kitu ambacho kinaweza kufuta points nyingi nzuri ulizotaka kuwakilisha, na kutengeneza a very unnecessary gender war.

Ukishaona kauli za jumla kama "wanaume ni..." au "wanawake ni..." apart from a very narrow set of statements that stays in the definition domain, most times unakuta kuna an absolutist, unfounded generalization.

Nikijiangalia mimi binafsi kama mwanamme naona umenionea sana kuniweka kundi moja na watu wengi unaowazungumzia hapo, kwa sababu siko hivyo.

But then again, I am not your regular Joe. I was top of my class everywhere I went, I was hanging out on the floor of The New York Stock Exchange at the beginn9ng of my career. I got cribs from Oysterbay, New York to Oysterbay Dar es salaam. Enough about me.

But, that's my point.

Be specific enough to exclude some of us enlightened gentlemen who are past this level of medieval mediocrity.

Else, we will start to think you are just being bitter against all men.

A few - or even many- misogynistic posts here do not represent all men, not even all Tanzanian born men.

I am proof of that. These people do not represent me.

I feel like being caught in an episode of that show called "I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here".

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It’s hard for some people to process nuance. That’s too much brain-work for them.

To them, it’s much easier to think within the confines of dichotomous thinking. Not outside of it.

Lately I’ve been seeing an increase in misogynistic and misandristic topics, with little to no nuance at all.

That’s why it seems like there is a low-key gender war going on.

Navigating the contours of nuance must be a tough mental exercise for many….
 
Dr Lizzy said:
Hello guys, bado tupo January, so Happy New Year!!

Ni muda sasa nimekua nikisoma na kusikia wakaka mnavyolaumu wanawake kukosa utii na heshima kwenye ndoa na mahusiano, kuwa jeuri sana na kuendekeza gubu.
Imefika mahali elimu na mafanikio ya mwanamke ndio vinaonekana kuwa chanzo cha matatizo haya, pamoja na mengine mengi.🙁

Binafsi sikubaliani nanyi hata kidogo.

Utii hauletwi na mtu kutokua "msomi"! Utii, kama vitu vingine vingi ambavyo hutolewa kwa hiari huwa havitolewi isipokua pale muhusika anapoonekana anastahili.

You can instill fear on a person, ukanunua nidhamu ya uongo, ngono, mapenzi ya kinafiki and so on...ila upendo, utii na kujaliwa ambako ni halisi (real/genuine) hutolewa kwa hiari, na hiari haishurutishwi hata siku moja. Si kwa mazingira (circumstances), uhitaji, pesa, hofu, wala nguvu ya mtu.

Tatizo linakuja pale mnapotaka kuchukua bila kutoa. Trust me, you can not take without giving!!

Wanaume nyie mnataka tuwapende, mnataka tuwajali (mbembelezwe na kupetiwa petiwa), tuwaheshimu, tuwatii, tuwasikilize, tuwa-appreciate etc. , ila nyie mnafanya juhudi gani kututengenezea mazingira/ kutuweka kwenye position ya kuwapa hayo yote na zaidi bila kujiona wajinga? Pengine tunafelishana in the sense that hamna anaetaka kuonekana mnyonge, nyie mnatuonyesha ubabe kwahiyo na sisi tunawaonyesha jeuri.

Hii pia inatokana na the fact that kuna baadhi wanakuwa na watu ambao sio sahihi kwao, either kwa tamaa, uzembe ama haraka ya kuingia kwenye mahusiano. Mtu wa hivi hata umbebe mgongoni, it will never change the fact that HAKUPENDI! Anaweza akawa anakuhitaji kwa sababu moja ama nyingine, but that's pretty much it.

Ukweli ni kwamba, ukiwa na mtu sahihi kwako na ukam-treat vizuri, she'll naturally become your peace...and vice versa!

Tukiacha kushindana, kila mmoja akaanza kumpa mwenzie kila anachoweza kumpa without conditions, judgement, or holding back, maisha yatakua rahisi sana.
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Undava undava tuu kitaelewwka huko mbeleni maana mmekuwa kichwa ngumu
 
Nyani Ngabu said:
It’s hard for some people to process nuance. That’s too much brain-work for them.

To them, it’s much easier to think within the confines of dichotomous thinking. Not outside of it.

Lately I’ve been seeing an increase in misogynistic and misandristic topics, with little to no nuance at all.

That’s why it seems like there is a low-key gender war going on.

Navigating nuance must be a tough mental exercise for many people….
Click to expand...
Kha! Sasa hii lugha yenu ya mzungu ndio mnatuchanganya na sie bodaboda wapenda jf. Ebu ongeeni englisha ya fomu fooo tupate kuelewa
 
Nyani Ngabu said:
It’s hard for some people to process nuance. That’s too much brain-work for them.

To them, it’s much easier to think within the confines of dichotomous thinking. Not outside of it.

Lately I’ve been seeing an increase in misogynistic and misandristic topics, with little to no nuance at all.

That’s why it seems like there is a low-key gender war going on.

Navigating nuance must be a tough mental exercise for many people….
Click to expand...
The sad thing is, where a nuanced and qualified response would do much to shine light on the misogyny/ misandry, an unnuanced, or at least insufficiently nuanced response is perpetuating essentially the same ignorance of generalization and false dichotomies.
 
Nyani Ngabu said:
Mbona kawaida tu 😀.
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Utaambiwa "That's your privilege talking".

Nilijitetea kwamba "Mbona hiki cha "Newsweek" bado sijatumia cha "The Economist" na "The New Yorker", nikaambiwa hivyo.

Yani watu wanataka wewe u dumb down uwezo wako ili uende sawa nao, badala ya wao kujiongeza waende nawe.
 
Dr Lizzy said:
Hello guys, bado tupo January, so Happy New Year!!

Ni muda sasa nimekua nikisoma na kusikia wakaka mnavyolaumu wanawake kukosa utii na heshima kwenye ndoa na mahusiano, kuwa jeuri sana na kuendekeza gubu.
Imefika mahali elimu na mafanikio ya mwanamke ndio vinaonekana kuwa chanzo cha matatizo haya, pamoja na mengine mengi.[emoji853]

Binafsi sikubaliani nanyi hata kidogo.

Utii hauletwi na mtu kutokua "msomi"! Utii, kama vitu vingine vingi ambavyo hutolewa kwa hiari huwa havitolewi isipokua pale muhusika anapoonekana anastahili.

You can instill fear on a person, ukanunua nidhamu ya uongo, ngono, mapenzi ya kinafiki and so on...ila upendo, utii na kujaliwa ambako ni halisi (real/genuine) hutolewa kwa hiari, na hiari haishurutishwi hata siku moja. Si kwa mazingira (circumstances), uhitaji, pesa, hofu, wala nguvu ya mtu.

Tatizo linakuja pale mnapotaka kuchukua bila kutoa. Trust me, you can not take without giving!!

Wanaume nyie mnataka tuwapende, mnataka tuwajali (mbembelezwe na kupetiwa petiwa), tuwaheshimu, tuwatii, tuwasikilize, tuwa-appreciate etc. , ila nyie mnafanya juhudi gani kututengenezea mazingira/ kutuweka kwenye position ya kuwapa hayo yote na zaidi bila kujiona wajinga? Pengine tunafelishana in the sense that hamna anaetaka kuonekana mnyonge, nyie mnatuonyesha ubabe kwahiyo na sisi tunawaonyesha jeuri.

Hii pia inatokana na the fact that kuna baadhi wanakuwa na watu ambao sio sahihi kwao, either kwa tamaa, uzembe ama haraka ya kuingia kwenye mahusiano. Mtu wa hivi hata umbebe mgongoni, it will never change the fact that HAKUPENDI! Anaweza akawa anakuhitaji kwa sababu moja ama nyingine, but that's pretty much it.

Ukweli ni kwamba, ukiwa na mtu sahihi kwako na ukam-treat vizuri, she'll naturally become your peace...and vice versa!

Tukiacha kushindana, kila mmoja akaanza kumpa mwenzie kila anachoweza kumpa without conditions, judgement, or holding back, maisha yatakua rahisi sana.
Click to expand...

Mwanamke hawez kutumikia master wawili. Mmoja atamzidi nguvu, na kwa bahati mbaya master mmoja common anaitwa career,kazi,bosi. How do it know, i have been there
 
Dr Lizzy said:
Ndio maana nikasema tunafelishana kwasababu mahusiano yamekua sehemu ya watu kuonyeshana hamna anaemmudu mwenzie badala ya kupendana, kuelewana na kuheshimiana. Hivi vitu vitatu vikiwepo mengine mengi yanakuja kirahisi, na kama ulivyosema, majadiliano ni bora zaidi kuliko kuleteana jeuri.
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Ni kweli kabisa mahusiano ya kudumu ya sikuhizi yamekuwa kama sehemu ya kutaka kunyooshana(kubadilishana) inasikitisha sana, Unapo deal na mwanaume inakupasa automatically ujue una deal na Kiongozi, hakuna kiongozi anayependa kuona mamlaka yake yana dogoshwa (mambo ya haki sawa) kwa namna yoyote ile, Principle ya kwanza unapo deal na kiongozi yeyote yule ni kuwa mnyenyekevu na Mtiifu, ukilielewa hili hautopata tabu kudeal na sisi wanaume, ukiona upo na mwanaume asiye demand hivyo vitu viwili jua umeingia cha kike, kupitia unyenyekevu na utiifu wako unaweza ukamlaghai mwanaume kadiri upendavyo. Unapoleta Jeuri mwanaume atatumia namna yeyote ile kukuonyesha kuwa yeye ni MWANAUME, Vivyo hivyo mwanaume anapo deal na mwanamke inampasa ajue nafasi ya mwanamke ni ipi kwa maana kiongozi ukiwa na sifa mbovu hata wanaopaswa kukutumikia watakudharau.
 
Nyani Ngabu said:
It’s hard for some people to process nuance. That’s too much brain-work for them.

To them, it’s much easier to think within the confines of dichotomous thinking. Not outside of it.

Lately I’ve been seeing an increase in misogynistic and misandristic topics, with little to no nuance at all.

That’s why it seems like there is a low-key gender war going on.

Navigating the contours of nuance must be a tough mental exercise for many….
Click to expand...
Nyani kama nyani 🤣
 
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