Wanaume na wazazi wenye watoto wa kiume, hii imeshawahi kuwatokea?

Zemanda said:

Mimi kipindi nabelehe mzee aliniagiza nimuwekee maji ya kuoga, nikaenda kuchukua maji ambayo yalikuwa na uchafu wa majani ya miti,nikaweka hivyo hivyo bila kujali ule uchafu.

Alinipiga biti moja la kibabe,hadi baadae nilijitafakari sana kile kitendo changu na kuona kuwa sikuwa na utimamu katika akili.

So haya mambo hutokea na kijana asipofokewa au kuchezea kichapo ubongo wake unaanza kutengeneza kiburi,na tabia ambazo ni matokeo ya kukosa usaidizi na muongozo mzuri wa wazazi.

Ndio maana tunakataza sana usingle mother maana katika stage hii watoto huwa wanahitaji sana muongozo wa baba yao kinyume chake ni watoto kugeuka tatizo halafu majuto ni baadae.

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Ni kweli fathers au father figures ni muhimu sana kwenye hii steji.

Mume wangu ana ukali na misimamo ambayo mimi sina sababu ya huruma, uwepo wake unasaidia sana kwenye kutengeneza nidhamu.

Binti wa zamani said:

Ulivyokua kijana na kipindi cha balehe (teen age), mahusiano yako na baba yako yalikuwaje?

Nina watoto wa kiume wapo kipindi cha balehe na hawaivi kabisa na baba yao, japo hapo zamani walikua wana ukaribu sana. Ugomvi hauishi, kila kitu kidogo lazima watoto wapate mihemuko au wapate hasira na baba yao naye anakasirika (they trigger each other kupita kiasi). Watoto pia hawana uoga kuongea mbele ya baba kama wakiambiwa kitu na hawana utayari (japo huwa hawavunji heshima au kutukana).

Hii hali ni mpya (kwa miaka kadhaa sasa) tokea waingie kwenye balehe (teen years). Wazazi ambao mmeshalea male teens (vijana wa kume wakiwa kwenye balehe) uzoefu wenu ulikuwaje na je baada ya balehe, ukaribu na mahusiano huwa yanarudi tena kama zamani?

Na wanaume wa JF, vipi na wakati unakua mahusiano yako na wazazi yalikuwaje?

Asanteni na Jumapili njema!

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1. Huyo baba Anakidemu nje alafu wadogo wanajua ila hawawezi kusema kwa bimkubwa ila wanachukia sana!
Kinachotokea ni kwamba, mzee hata akiongea anaonekana sio msafi mbele ya macho yao!
wana kitu cha kumlipua mzee akiendelea ku implement pressure kwao. Sasa Hiyo kitu lazima ishushe credibility kwa mzee

2.mzee anaongozwa ha hisia mbaya za makisio dhidi ya watoto wake wa kiume.
Inawezekana ana hisia mbaya zinazosababishwa na barehe ya watoto haswa aki reflect wakat wake wa barehe yeye alikuaje!
Anapata hofu kwamba watakuwa na madem na tabia za kishenzi huko nje!
Haswa wanapoanza kuongeza demand za mahitaji. Kwa watoto wa kiume tunakuwa na hizi tabia tunapoingia kwenye hiyo stage alafu tupate dem
1.fixed fees za shule, yaan hapo mzazi utapigwa mizinga ya michango hadi basi

2.kurudi home mapema ni changamoto kidogo kitu kinachomchochea mzazi kuhisi labda kuna ufiraun mdogoli anaufanya

3.adulthood effects kama kujiskia vibaya akifokewa, akiagizwa kufanya jambo fulani(kama wapo wawili huwa mbaya zaidi) hapo anakuwa anahisi yy ni mkubwa astahili kufanya hicho wakati kuna mdogoli wake.
Hasira za karibu(hizi zinasababishwa na fighting for recognition!) Katka nafsi yake kuna kitu kinamsukuma aoneshe yy ni mkubwa na wazazi mlijue hilo! Hiyo ni hali ya kawaida kabisa na inadumu kwa muda mpaka pale atakapoanza kuhisi yes now i retain my respect..

Mzee apunguze tu mikwara aseeh kwasabb huo umri mtoto anakuwa nje ya dunia ya woga kabisa badala yake anakuwa na heshima tu ya kutambua huyu ni mzazi, but ni very limited si wa kujifanyia kila anachotaka kwangu kwasabab tu kanizaa!!

Mzee anataka kutumia ubabe umri wa kutumia maongezi zaidi!!
Fimbo ya kijana wa miaka ya barehe ni maneno! Amini nakwambia maneno yanamuumiza vibaya sana kuliko viboko vya matakoni!
Ajitahidi kutumia lugha zenye ukali lakini wa heshima(asitweze utoto wa mtoto na akakweza ukubwa wake kam mzazi)
Atumie lugha za michano ya kiume ile!
Sio ngonjera za bi kidude!

Kumbusho tu kw madingi!
Umri wa kuchapa na kufundisha watoto kwa nguvu ni huo mnaowadekeza na kuwaita majina yote ya upenzi kwa watoto(miaka 03-11)
Mtoto akipita huo umri hutakiwi tena kuendekeza ubabe kwa sababu tayar akili yake inaanza kupembua zuri na baya! Tumia maneno mzee
Naomba kuwasilisha

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FREE TUNDU ANTIPAS LISSU

Arizona 1 said:

Kwa mimi binafsi japo haukuniquote, mshua alikuwa ni mkali balaa! Ni kutii sheria bila shuruti..so boarding ndio lilikuwa kimbilio la kwenda kufanyia karaha za balehe...ktk kipindi hicho pia shida zenu na malalamiko yote tuliyapitishia kwa mama.

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Asante kwa mchango wako Arizona 1

Daah sisi tumeamua kukaa na watoto na kutowapekeka bweni ila si rahisi kwa kweli.

Shukrani kwa babu na bibi zao, tunaishi nao karibu kwa watoto wetu huko ndiyo kimbilio lao wakiona tunawabana bana au kuwafuatilia sana.

Bahati mbaya sikulelewa na kukua kwenye familia yenye baba hivyo hio hali ilivyo nikuta nilikabiliana nayo peke yangu

Kwa sasa ni baba, najitahidi sana kujenga mahusiano na mtoto awe huru kwangu ili chochote kisicho cha kawaida kinapo mkuta awe huru kuniambia .

Hivyo hata atakavyo kuwa kwenye balehe yake kusiwe na uzio kati yake na mimi.

Nadhani mkipanda vizuri huku chini hakuna usumbufu mkubwa hapo mbeleni.

Binti wa zamani said:

Asante kwa kushare.
Labda itakua hivyo pia kwetu, huyu wa kwanza akipita kwenye balehe atatusaidia na mdogo wake.

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Yap ni kawaida, ila kuwa karibu na mkubwa mana ni kipind kila binti tunamuona mzuri.

Beki 3 huwa familia usipokuwa makini.

MUGOYA2001 said:

Watoto wengi wa kiume wanapokua hasa katika mazingira baba anajitahidi kuwa karibu nao huwa hawaelewi ILA kwa kuchelewa sana hugundua umuhimu wa baba.

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Ni kweli ila nafikiri ni kipindi cha mpito tu.

Wapeleke kwa baba yao mzazi. Acheni tabia za kubambikia watu watoto. Hayo ndio madhara yake.

Binti wa zamani said:

Asante kwa mchango wako Arizona 1

Daah sisi tumeamua kukaa na watoto na kutowapekeka bweni ila si rahisi kwa kweli.

Shukrani kwa babu na bibi zao, tunaishi nao karibu kwa watoto wetu huko ndiyo kimbilio lao wakiona tunawabana bana au kuwafuatilia sana.

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Mkionyesha msimamo na uthabiti wa kuhakikisha wanatekeleza maono mlionayo juu yao bila mchezo, watazoea na wataibuka kuwa vijana wazuri sana..

Mr_og said:

Ndiyo uache usiri au kumsema vibaya Mume wako ukiwa na wanao, wwe ukionyesha kumuheshimu Mumewo na watoto nao watamuheshimu baba yao,lakini ukimzarau Mumeo,na watoto nao hawatamuheshimu! Mara nyingi nyinyi wa mama ndiyo mnaharibugi watoto mkizani ndiyo mnawapenda!!

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Projection 🤦‍♀️ 🤦‍♀️ 🤦‍♀️ 🤦‍♀️ hayo yote uliyoyasema una uhakika nayo?

Sijawahi kumuongelea vibaya baba yao kwao, hata kama ninajua hapa mume wangu hayuko sahihi au ameovereact. Mimi na yeye ni timu moja kwenye malezi na anachosema yeye mbele ya watoto kauli yetu kwa pamoja (kama nina wazo tofauti nitamwambia tukiwa peke yetu na si kumbishia mbele ya watoto).

Ni baba bora sana kwa watoto wake, hakuna baya ninayoweza kulisema juu yake hadharani.

Hakuna Hali inayo dumu daima

Binti wa zamani said:

Ulivyokua kijana na kipindi cha balehe (teen age), mahusiano yako na baba yako yalikuwaje?

Nina watoto wa kiume wapo kipindi cha balehe na hawaivi kabisa na baba yao, japo hapo zamani walikua wana ukaribu sana. Ugomvi hauishi, kila kitu kidogo lazima watoto wapate mihemuko au wapate hasira na baba yao naye anakasirika (they trigger each other kupita kiasi). Watoto pia hawana uoga kuongea mbele ya baba kama wakiambiwa kitu na hawana utayari (japo huwa hawavunji heshima au kutukana).

Hii hali ni mpya (kwa miaka kadhaa sasa) tokea waingie kwenye balehe (teen years). Wazazi ambao mmeshalea male teens (vijana wa kume wakiwa kwenye balehe) uzoefu wenu ulikuwaje na je baada ya balehe, ukaribu na mahusiano huwa yanarudi tena kama zamani?

Na wanaume wa JF, vipi na wakati unakua mahusiano yako na wazazi yalikuwaje?

Asanteni na Jumapili njema!

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Itakuwa sio baba Yao wa damu sema kweli ulipewa mimba na nani???????

NO REFORM NO ELECTION

Fanton Mahal said:

Baba na mtoto hata siku moja hawawez kuwa mafahari wawili hata siku moja.
Nimekua nikimuheshimu mnoo mzee wangu na kumsikiliza kwa kila jambo.

Nimeanza kwenda tofauti (mara chache) na misimamo ya baba angu baada ya kuwa na familia ya watoto wanne, hapo ndipo kuna mambo atasema nami kwa hekima nitakataa kukubali.

Nafikiri suala ni malezi.
Lakin kwa hatua hiyo walipofikia, baba akae chini na vijana hao, awaeleze. Waijue mipaka yao na kufaham kwa makini nafasi zao wao kama watoto na yeye kama baba yao ambapo nafas yake kamwe haiwez kuwa challenged katika dhana kwamba hata kama wao ni wanaume, ila hawatakaa waweze kuwa baba kwa baba yao. Hawawez kuwa mume wa mama yao.

Awaeleze wazi namna dunia kiuhalisia ilivyo mbali na illusions ambao wanazizi grab huko mitandaoni na kwenye jamii.

Mzee asipaniki. Hawez kushindan na watoto wake, awaeleweshe kwa umakini. He should act as an eye for them kwa kuwaonyesha mambo ambayo wao katu hawayaoni kwa sasa

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Umesema vyema, asante sana.
Nimeyachukua yote 🙏 🙏 🙏

Half american said:

Kama wamerithi kwa asilimia kubwa basi inahitajika hekima sana kuvuka kipindi hicho, unapaswa uendelee kuwa katikati yao hasa kwa watoto kuwafundisha mipaka yao kama watoto.

Wanapaswa wajue kipi cha kufanya na kipi sio cha kufanya hata kama wakiwa wamekwazika. Vinginevyo wanaweza kujiharibia mahusiano yao na baba yao kwa miaka kadhaa mpaka pale watakapokuwa wamepata utambuzi wa waliyokuwa wakiyafanya kuwa sio sahihi na wengi wanakuja kutambua hayo 27+ na pengine ikawa too late.

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💯 💯 💯 Ni kweli, acha tuendelee na hii safari kwa busara na upendo.

Binti wa zamani said:

Ulivyokua kijana na kipindi cha balehe (teen age), mahusiano yako na baba yako yalikuwaje?

Nina watoto wa kiume wapo kipindi cha balehe na hawaivi kabisa na baba yao, japo hapo zamani walikua wana ukaribu sana. Ugomvi hauishi, kila kitu kidogo lazima watoto wapate mihemuko au wapate hasira na baba yao naye anakasirika (they trigger each other kupita kiasi). Watoto pia hawana uoga kuongea mbele ya baba kama wakiambiwa kitu na hawana utayari (japo huwa hawavunji heshima au kutukana).

Hii hali ni mpya (kwa miaka kadhaa sasa) tokea waingie kwenye balehe (teen years). Wazazi ambao mmeshalea male teens (vijana wa kume wakiwa kwenye balehe) uzoefu wenu ulikuwaje na je baada ya balehe, ukaribu na mahusiano huwa yanarudi tena kama zamani?

Na wanaume wa JF, vipi na wakati unakua mahusiano yako na wazazi yalikuwaje?

Asanteni na Jumapili njema!

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Of course asili ya mwanaume ni kuhishi kuheshimiwa. Wakati mwingi tunaweza hata 'demand' hio heshima kama Kuna viashiria vya kutokuwepo/mapuuza.

Hapo ndio shida inaanzia kwa sie wazee.

Last seen Enjoy Maisha.

Moisemusajiografii said:

Kabisa.Yule mama yangu,alivyokuwa akinikung'unta hadi na mche wa kutwangia viungo nilidhani ananionea muda ule.Yaani unabondwa hadi unahisi kufa kufa mixer kiu Kali hata ukipewa sifongo unakunywa bila shida.Siyo kama hawa watoto wetu wa siku hizi wakiguswa kidogo tunapelekwa kwa mwenyekiti au mahakamani.Aiseee,alifanya jambo zuri sana kuninyoosha.Hawa watoto wetu tusiwachekee.Kipigo kwa kipimo,kiasi tu tusipite Akili zizidi nguvu.

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Wewe ulikua umeshashindikana, lazima upigwe akili kama mwizi 😂 😂

Nina binamu yangu alikua kama wewe, siku moja nilimuona shangazi na mjomba wangu wamemfunga kamba kwenye nguzo za nyumba wanamchangia kumtandika na nyaya. Nilimuonea huruma nikahisi wanamkatili ila sasa hivi ni mganga mkuu mkoa flani na anawashukuru sana wazazi wake walimuokoa.

Wakati mwingine hakuna namna ni kuadhibu tu ili kupunguza ujinga la sivyo unampoteza mtoto.

Aiylan wasalan said:

Nakwambia acha tu,Goma limenoga huku! No reforms No Election

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Haya chezeni sebene, msisahau kuombea amani kipindi cha uchaguzi.

Binti wa zamani said:

Ulivyokua kijana na kipindi cha balehe (teen age), mahusiano yako na baba yako yalikuwaje?

Nina watoto wa kiume wapo kipindi cha balehe na hawaivi kabisa na baba yao, japo hapo zamani walikua wana ukaribu sana. Ugomvi hauishi, kila kitu kidogo lazima watoto wapate mihemuko au wapate hasira na baba yao naye anakasirika (they trigger each other kupita kiasi). Watoto pia hawana uoga kuongea mbele ya baba kama wakiambiwa kitu na hawana utayari (japo huwa hawavunji heshima au kutukana).

Hii hali ni mpya (kwa miaka kadhaa sasa) tokea waingie kwenye balehe (teen years). Wazazi ambao mmeshalea male teens (vijana wa kume wakiwa kwenye balehe) uzoefu wenu ulikuwaje na je baada ya balehe, ukaribu na mahusiano huwa yanarudi tena kama zamani?

Na wanaume wa JF, vipi na wakati unakua mahusiano yako na wazazi yalikuwaje?

Asanteni na Jumapili njema!

View attachment 3360276

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Nilichojifunza katika uhusiano kati ya, mtoto wa kiume na, baba yake,
Kuna umri,miaka 0 mpaka 14,baba, anakuwa, ni, shujaa, kwa, mtoto, mtoto anakuwa, anatamani, kuwa, kama, baba, anamuona baba yake ndio hero wake, (kijana, wangu aliiga, na, akapenda kila ninachofanya, weight lifting, martial, art, ufundi umeme na magari, kuangslia series, kuendesha bike, gari kwa, speed, kutembea, u siku sana vichochoroni, bila uoga,) kuna umri 18-30, mtoto wa, kiume atqmchukia dingi yake, harafu, akiwa, na, familia, ndio ataanza kumuelewa, dingi yake for, na mzee akifariki, mtoto wa, kiume ndio ufumbuka na kuelewa logic ya kila kitu alichokuwa anafanya dingi!

Kwanza aliwakuzaje...
Kizungu mtoto nae ana haki za kipuuzi puuzi.
Ama kibantu, baba ni baba tu!?
Ama mixer?

Kama kizungu alishakosea, haswa mtoto anapofikia balehe.

Kipindi hiki kuna vi tabia fulani huwa vinajengeka kwetu, kutuna, kakiburi ka hapa na pale.

Mie nimekuwa baba ameshafariki lakini niliweza kujicontrol kwa yale makuzi niliyopewa na mzazi wangu.

Mtoto wa dada yangu, mie nilikuwa namsimamia ila alipokuwa akaanza kakiburi,
Siku moja nikataka kumuadhibu naona analeta za kuleta,
Nikampa nafasi akunje ngumi, kibaya zaidi akakunja basi nilimtwanga kama mtu mzima mwenzangu, mpaka alipopiga kelele ya kufa, ndio nikamuacha na kumueleza yeye ni mtoto tu akae awe na adabu..
Tokea siku hiyo akarudia kwenye kanuni za maisha, muda wa kula ni mmoja na ukifika awepo mezani, uhuru wake mwisho saa 2 kwenda kuswali baada ya hapo anakuwa mtaani, iwe ndani ama nje lakini nyumbani

Hapo baba mtu afanye maamuzi magumu.

Binti wa zamani said:

Wewe ulikua umeshashindikana, lazima upigwe akili kama mwizi 😂 😂

Nina binamu yangu alikua kama wewe, siku moja nilimuona shangazi na mjomba wangu wamemfunga kamba kwenye nguzo za nyumba wanamchangia kumtandika na nyaya. Nilimuonea huruma nikahisi wanamkatili ila sasa hivi ni mganga mkuu mkoa flani na anawashukuru sana wazazi wake walimuokoa.

Wakati mwingine hakuna namna ni kuadhibu tu ili kupunguza ujinga la sivyo unampoteza mtoto.

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Cha ajabu,sisi magangwe huwa tuna akili za darasani na maishani.Wa sasa hawa tusiwapige sana watavunjika.Sijui ni wa plastics?
NB;Oooh...man! I'm growing old now!

Fanton Mahal said:

Hili pia ni JAMBO LA MSINGI MNOOOO

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Unajua watoto huwa wanaangalia sana jinsi nyinyi wazazi mnavyo ishi, mkiwa mnaheshimiana wanajua,na mkiwa mnazarauriana pia wanajua, na pia wanajua kati ya baba na mama nani ni final say wanajua, na siku zote watamuheshimu sana yule mwenye final say!!